So I wanted to provide a follow up to you find folks since many of you saw or participated in the Real Talk that @Danjo and @Casers were awesome enough to do about my last post.
I wound up watching it way later as I was busy when it was happening and I have to say… I cried (Danjo) I laughed (Casers) and I was just hit by a cold cold punch of reality that I had been missing.
Some of the things that were said I had been told by my best friend before but I always chalked it up to “Oh… You’re supposed to say that.” Hearing an outside source say it drove it home.
In literally the… 10 days or so since then I’ve made a concerted effort to change a whole bunch of things about my world view, I’ve dropped out of some of the groups I was in dedicated to causes, and have focused more on sorting myself than I ever have before, and I have to say I’m feeling pretty good about it.
That being said I want to hit on the three quotes that struck home harder than any other:
From Dan:
“If you NEED to help people, just to feel good about yourself, you are doing a disservice to you both, and lying to the person you are helping, about why you’re helping them.”
“At the end of the day, if you look at your son, and say you love him, and he responds back with “I love you” then thats all that matters.”
From Nate:
“People often think that change is this instant 180, when it’s not. Its one degree at a time over and over.”
Now I’ve taken the entire thing to heart, but these three lines resonated the most.
In the last 10 days, I’ve started doing things for myself again, instead of just sitting in misery while pretending to the world everything is OK and that I’m a big damn hero. I’ve been more real with myself, and people than I ever have before, and been more HONEST with myself and other people about what I need, and how I feel than I ever have before.
I’m still helping people. I’m just not trying to save everyone, because I cant, its not realistic, and its not fair to myself, my son, or everyone else.
Sometimes I have to save myself, before I can even think about saving the rest of everyone. It’s not a bad thing, because you cant drink from an empty cup. If you keep pouring yourself out for everyone, until theres nothing left, when you need you… theres nothing there.
I do also want to leave you all with my family motto. Its very important to me and it’s helped me through some dark times.
Nihil Desperandum
It means “Never Despair”
So as you go forth, together, with us, always remember. The light is hard to see when you’re in the dark, but keep on pushing. You can get there eventually, and with people like Dan, Casey, and literally the entire super-dope Heart Support community, you can do this.
I have your back, so do they, and if this is the first post you’re reading, Welcome Home, friend.
Nihil Desperandum.
