My mom and sister now claim I have an attitude with people which isn’t fair! Yeah, if I’m annoyed I will show it, but I can’t apologize if I don’t know what’s wrong. My mom just called me unapproachable! Maybe it’s why I have trouble having friends? Maybe that’s why no one likes me?? I can’t do this anymore and maybe if I’m gone, no one will care??? And they said which is one of the reasons I could get fired. I try to be nice to people and be respectful! It’s very frustrating that I always feel inclined to defend myself and always look like the bad guy. I’m not a fucking doormat okay? I feel so alone and again, maybe if I’m gone, no one will care. No one cares enough to ask if I’m okay. I’m so sick of crying all the time because I feel so alone and no one caring.
It could be your tone of voice. IDK since IDK you. For me, it was I was always complaining and added to it the fact that I would never smile.
(So I mostly don’t complain anymore and constantly smile now (half of them are fake). MY parent, she got off my case about my attitude then. (Its been awhile and now I am a bit more positive than I was a couple of years ago.) Rarely anyone says anything about my attitude anymore. When they do it is always about how pleasant I am to be around. (Some reason when you quit ranting and be quiet people seem to think you’re a confessional. It’s useful when you need to gleam intel about several people for various reasons.) Yep, now one of my qualities is how I am such a good listener. Showing some actual concern once in awhile helps as well).
Exactly. It must be my TONE of voice. It’s amazing of how people think they can jump to conclusions and assume I’m always annoyed at them all the time. It’s so annoying and sometimes ignorant. Because they don’t care to ask at all. I try to be approachable bc I’ve meant PLENTY of unapproachable people. And for my own mother to call me unapproachable is so offensive. Smh
My parent told me that I always hurt the ones that I care about. I can never get what she said out of my head. So I try my hardest not to be a hardcase. Unfortunately, it haunts me half the stuff she says. I always think did I offend this person? My confidence is shot and I end up blaming myself half the time when later on the people I thought I offended didn’t even notice.
Hilarious what you can do to yourself. What misery you can torture yourself through.
It sounds like you’re very overwhelmed. I’m sorry you’ve been going through this. It’s hard to interact with people when you’re told you’re unapproachable or that you have an attitude. I’m sure that is incredibly frustrating. Despite that, I truly believe leaving is not the answer. Although the people immediately in your life may not ask how you are, know that we absolutely care how you are and want to be here for you in whatever season you are going through. Hold fast my friend.
Hannah Rhodes