I’m really tired of this feeling. I want this feeling to go the heck away. Words are just hard right now on how i actually feel besides felling not good enough. I know i am good enough but , well it doesn’t seem like it. Its not me trying to please my family , its me struggling to be the best i can be for my pets. I have 2 rabbits and well there’s moments where its actually hard to leave the house and i feel like do they have enough, do i give enough , am i a good enough mom to them. its just why the heck am i feeling this way. I have had other struggles in the past feeling this way . Recently there’s more I’ve dealt with , such as me dealing with my frustration which made me almost punch a wall but i didn’t . That same day I’ve struggled more , i even teared up , i even felt like i had no strength or power to fight, but i did fight, and i’m still here. I just dont know why my frustation was or is coming back i was doing so good but since that lengthy time i didnt see my therapist the frustation is starting to slip , why? i just want the frustration to go away. Then also, my dad keeps telling people the “success” I’ve made within my high school career with the award I’ve gotten. its just so tiring i just don’t want others to known and its so annoying to where i feel like my dad is bragging and its annoying and i even told my therapist that and we talked about that. So well , i just don’t know what to do anymore i want to live but i want this feeling to stop . i really want to feel good enough. what should i do? I don’t want to give up , i don’t want to fail, but i don’t want to have these negative thoughts going through my mind anymore. I just dont know what to do anymore.
Hi, Ashley
I love you friend. I’m sorry you are having a hard time right now. Sounds like you got all kinds of emotions going through you right now.
As far as your rabbits are concerned, as long as you love them, feed them and care for them that’s all that matters. Sounds like maybe you are being overly hard on yourself where you don’t really need to be. Don’t do that to yourself, girl.
I’ve had moments where I feel so frustrated I want to punch a wall too. I of course don’t. That probably isn’t a good thing. Hah. But, I’m sure there are other ways you could release that tension. Punching a pillow. Ripping up and shredding paper, hell, if you’re home alone, scream into the pillow. Let out that energy in a safer and healthier way if you need to.
And in regards to your dad, maybe you should just slip it to him gently that it makes you feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure what it is you are referring to, but letting him know may help. Don’t be afraid to speak up and share your feelings.
Anyway, as a whole, I hope you get feeling better. Find something that you enjoy to distract your time. A movie, music, game, a hobby. Anything that gives you enjoyment. I know it can be hard to find motivation for these things when you’re feeling shitty, but it’s good to try to keep yourself busy when your mind wants to spiral out of control.
I wish I had more to give you to take away how icky you are feeling. But I love you, friend. And I’m here for you.
- Kitty
Im already 1 year and 6 months clean from self harm but i feel like i want to relapse but im trying so much not to , im trying to fight but sometimes its just hard .
And it will be hard. When I started to get clean from self harm it was an up hill battle. Even now, I’ve been clean since the fall of 2008. And when I have a particular low day my brain still thinks about it. It’s a real struggle. Always reach out when you need it. Especially here.
My bun is an ass.! I’m pretty sure he is purposely trying to kill me. You are a great fur mom! Trust me. I will be honest and that is from experience… The feelings you are having don’t actually have to do with your bunnies.
We may not know each other but the feeling lives within.
You don’t want to leave, you said it yourself. The thing we all call life is more difficult than what we would all hope it to be. You are strong for even sharing your feelings.
Those feelings… Are feelings you have within and you are not alone. Your buns love you. They need you to survive. Just don’t put yourself on the back burner.
You are a strong, smart human. If you weren’t you wouldnt have even had rhee courage to post. Instead of finding an “excuse”… Which I do as well. Try looking deep within yourself and find that issue. Talk about it more here, to your therapist(if you go back), etc.
There is more to this then bunny rabbits and theories.
Xoxo
@rms4298 I dont feel like im strong at all . If i was strong i wouldnt have my issues ive been having since i got back from california with my frustration. I dont know when ill see my therapist next my dad is the one who selects the dates.
@Enkou666 1st of all congrats being clean for 10-11 years geez, how do you do it. second of all how can i battle these thoughts of self harm i now i can over come it but what about the feeling. and thanks
Why don’t you talk to your dad and let him know that you need to see your therapist and maybe see if it’s possible to get in to see them more often? 
Or maybe if they would be willing to set you up with BetterHelp so you can have access to someone 24/7? Maybe?
I love you. I’m sorry if that’s not helpful. I just want to see you feeling better and have access to good help.
@anon17277947 theres days ill be fine then theres days where i feel like absolute crap like yesturday and today , its one of those where i will probably will be okay at the end its just … yah know.
I can understand that. I go through a lot of ups and downs like that too.
You’re a lot stronger than you credit yourself. And we’re always here to love you along the way
@all_around_ashley It wasn’t easy at first. Anything happened and it was my first thought. Honestly, it was the support group I built around me. Not even on purpose. They allowed me to talk about everything and helped me immensely. My words of advice is just find people that will always be there for you and will allow you to express your feelings. Like I said. On my really low days my thought is still cutting. And it’s a struggle. But, then I reach out.