i really don’t understand
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Hi trying_to_recover,
As someone who has worked so hard to make others happy, I know how much pressure and stress that adds to your life. Especially when you change for your parents. I used to do whatever made my parents happy, but by doing that I was sacrificing my own happiness. I really encourage you to be yourself. Do things that interest you and live for yourself. At 13 the best thing you can do for yourself is discovering who you are and who you want to be. And I know that can be scary because what if other people don’t like you? The thing is no matter how much you try not everyone is going to like you. So you might as well work to make yourself happy.
From the sound of it it sounds like your parents care about you a lot. Right now you might be frustrated with them or feel like you aren’t good enough for them. But they care enough about you to try to get you help, and it might not be in the best way, but maybe they just might not know what to do. Parents are human too and sometimes they make mistakes. I encourage you to talk to your parents and be honest about how you feel. Having that open communication is so important.
Also I am very glad that you were open and said that you were suicidal. Keeping that a secret eats you from the inside and it just throws you into a dark hole. What you did was brave and strong and that is amazing. The fight toward recovery is hard, challenging and sometimes feels hopeless. But I promise you that your life matters and that you matter. You are worth recovery. You are worth life. Hold fast. We believe in you.
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What you are feeling is normal. Teenagers go through this. I gone through it, but in a different way. Don’t overwhelm yourself of making others happy. We are humans. There are times that we won’t be satisfied. You cannot satisfy anyone. Regardless of who they are. It’s okay. The important thing is loving others and loving yourself. Love yourself first, comrade. You will get through this. If you want to vent more, this forum is open. I hope you are having a restful evening, and thank you for sharing. God bless you.