I got it honest and brutal question. How do you stay persistent when you’re in terrible pain? I’m not just a fan of As I Lay Dying material but I’m also a fellow metal musician who has experienced several of their struggles that they
have each individually gone through. I actually have trouble believing in myself despite spending years working on myself. Everytime I wish to go after what might be considered a big dream I’m encountered by several roadblocks the first of which since I come from nothing and don’t come from money or privilege and I’m supposedly mentally disabled that I’m not allowed to or don’t qualify for the dream that I want and that I deeply desire to have. I’m nearly 33 yrs old and have been battling depression and terrible mental pain since I was very young due to enduring various levels of violent and extreme trauma.I’ve survived 98 group home and foster home placements. I still have a deep desire to make a difference with my personal experience with metal music and how it saved my life… I’m not sure if this will be responded to but I really hope so…
Hi @andrewjc First off, welcome and thank you so much for sharing your story and your pain with us. We truly care for one another here and someone will post. I am grateful you reached out. We all have suffered some sort of terrible pain here at Heart Support. But yours is unique and you deserve to be listened to. So, thank you for sharing!
It’s so hard to stay positive and persistent in terrible pain. The fact that you have gone through so many homes must be incredibly challenging. But you clearly have a beautiful and strong spirit because you are reaching out for help and you want to make a difference by helping other people. That’s wonderful. Keep doing that.
For me, I have dealt with severe anxiety, depression, and chronic pain for almost 13 years now. I get it. It sucks and it’s not easy to stay strong. All I can say is that it might help to openly share how you are feeling with God. Let Him know you are in pain and suffering and that you need Him. That doesn’t mean things will instantly go away but you need to know you are loved and cared for. I promise.
Don’t let anyone make you feel down. You have value and you deserve to have help and healing. I believe in you and we believe in your here at Heart Support! Keep reaching out!
Hold onto the bit of hope you have right now and do something today that will bring a smile to your face!
Hi, friend, I can understand some of this pain.
I didn’t go through as many foster homes as you did, but I went through a few. And I stayed in toxic environments with people I barely knew at times when my mother was in jail. So I know some of the hardships that come with that territory.
And like you, I have mental disabilities as well, that make it so that I can’t do certain things in life. And some things I require more help. There are times where that feels like it takes away from my quality of life because it makes me feel like I’m not good enough or I’m useless and worthless. So I can understand this pain as well.
Growing up I went through a lot of trauma, from sexual abuse and assault both in family and not, physical abuse, bullying and living in a home where the family fought with alcoholism and addictions.
I didn’t have much either growing up. My family was poor. My mother had to have help from the state and section 8 in order to have a home. We had to go to food banks and have churches and charity donate gifts on the holiday.
But these things do not have to stop us from doing something meaningful in our lives. You know? There may be some things that are more difficult or maybe even more restricted. But it doesn’t mean you can do and accomplish things in life that mean something and are valuable to yourself and others.
It’s important to fight for your dreams. To fight for the things that make you happy and bring you joy in life. Some of those things may be hard to reach and achieve but do not give up! People may try to say you can’t do or have something, but all the more reason to do it and make it happen right? Prove them wrong and show them that no matter your history, you can have the things your dream for!
You are important and valued my friend and you deserve to have the things you want in life. And I hope you find the strength and courage to seek those things out.
So much love to you.
- Kitty
@anon17277947 thank you very much for taking the time to reply to me. You opening up and sharing some of the details of your story has caused me to appreciate the depths of my own story as well and honestly brought tears to my eyes knowing that I’m not alone and that there is proof of people out there that are making things happen despite the odds seeming to be stacked against them at times.
You among others are helping me to appreciate I want gifts I have that can help make this world a better place because I chose to embrace those gifts thank you for your support
Of course! I’m glad to offer some kind words. I hope that you will continue to embrace those gifts you carry. And don’t let anyone take them from you. A lot of people in life will try to tell us we can’t do things but it’s important to keep on pushing forward and fighting. You deserve to embrace the gifts you have and the dreams you carry and make them what you want.
And we will always be here to encourage you along the way of your journey. 
️