Self worth struggles

Something I struggle with a lot is self worth or how I view myself.

I basically just jump to “I hate myself” in a lot of situations because I don’t have any other way to explain it- I guess I’m mad at myself for letting bad things happen, I don’t know.

I’ve tried thinking more philosophicaly into it before and it just made me frustrated but I guess I realize that there is a lot of things behind it- I still have to sort it all out and honestly I don’t even know if I’m making sense.

I think so much goes on and it’s too much and I just jump to I hate myself and slam my fists into my body, or cry on the bathroom floor for an hour or have an anxiety attack.

I also have learned that I have anxiety attacks- maybe they are panic attacks but I don’t know the distinction between the two- all I know is it’s some kind of attack my mind is having on my body and sense and nerves. I guess I always thought that there was a specific way for an anxiety attack to be an anxiety attack or whatever- if you get what I mean- but those kinds of situations are different for everyone- one set of occurrences does not make something an anxiety attack or depression or any other thing that happens that has a label. I really hope I make sense.

Sometimes I just get really sick of being a girl because of hormones and I think oh maybe it’s just my hormones but I don’t really even know. I’m just so frustrated with life right now.

And the thing is it’s like man things are terrible right now but then tomorrow they could be ok and I think I’m getting better and things are going to be ok and get better but they just don’t.

I feel like I’ve been fighting this battle for too long and I should be seeing results and I shouldn’t have to reach out to people or feel the way I do but I just can’t win it seems.

I guess all this stuff happens and it’s easier to beat myself up about it all mentally and physically than taking it out on other people. It’s easier to say I hate myself.

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Things are going to get better. I know it may seem cliche, but you are worth something. But you can only be worth what you choose to be worth. When you have those panic attacks, take a deep breath. Find a mantra that works to calm you down, and repeat it. And it helps to find someone to reach out to, someone who demonstrates a lot of care in your well being. Keep your chin up!:blush:

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My brother is in his 30’s and still reaches out to me. My aunt in her early 40’s still does that as well. It’s okay to reach out and talk to people. It’s okay to be hormonal, its natural. Just try to breathe. Write down your issue and think of ways it can be solved and work toward those goals. Write every day if you have to! Write it here and update us as you go if you need to~

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Lys. Things will get better. They’ve already started too. You’ve done so well. I’m so proud of you. The results are in your clean time. In the posts you’ve made prior to this. You’re worth the fight. You can beat this. Panic attacks/anxiety attacks are terrifying regardless. They are manageable though. I will give you some tips on how I cope with mine if you think that will help. Love you.

Hold fast
Kayla

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Hey @Lyss,

I’m right there with you. I’m a perfectionist, and when I fall short of perfection, I’m extremely hard on myself and tend to beat myself up over it. To check myself by saying, “Would I ever say this (the negative self-talk) to anyone else?” If the answer is “no” then that means I’m being too hard on myself. I’m no stranger to panic/anxiety attacks either, and I agree that they 100% suck - just remember that deep breaths are your best friend when it comes to attacks. You’re strong. We believe in you.

-Eric

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