The guy who I was talking to for about 8 months, who is in the Marines, was without a doubt the first person I genuinely liked. He made me so happy, listened to me, was there, everything. Then a few months into talking, he told me he wanted to wait to date, because things were so hectic and he wanted to get settled. I was bummed but I understood and told him we would work it out, that I was there for him, and that everything would be okay. Things started to change. He wouldn’t treat me the same, would send me mixed signals, and just wasn’t as responsive. I started to worry but knew that it was probably just because he was so busy and stressed out. then flash forward to this trip home, and thats when everything kinda fell apart. he texted me and told me that he was in love with his best friend, who was also my good friend. he said that he really did like me and still likes me, and is trying to get over her. he said that he wants to wait to date but is very sad and doesn’t even want to think about dating right now. I was heartbroken, sad, and very mad. I was mad because he should’ve told me sooner that he was in love with her. he shouldn’t have flirted with me and made me feel the way that he felt. I figured that I just needed to calm down and not talk to him and figure out how I actually felt. then the next day I told him I was super mad and I didn’t feel like talking. he was worried and kept calling me. so eventually, I called him back and just started crying. I really do like him. I really do want to be with him. he said that he had put so much emotional effort into the friend he was in love with, but she didn’t like him back. he told me that he had been trying to date her for about a year, but wasn’t getting the response back, but then proceeded to tell me that the girl made out with him…twice. while we were talking.how am I supposed to feel? I still don’t know what to think or anything. He told me he really does care, he just doesn’t want to deal with dating or anything, because clearly, things are a mess right now. I just told him that I understood and that I just didn’t know what was going on. I still don’t. I don’t wanna be mad at him anymore. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. I told him that I still want to remain being close with him, because I do really care about him, and he said of course, but I honestly think thats a lie. he ignores me. he gives me one worded answers. I just don’t trust him anymore. I feel so stupid I should’ve listened to the voices telling me not to bother with him. I’m so mad at him and myself.
Hey friend,
I just want to say that you are not worth hate. This situation is hard and I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.
What has happened is not your fault. Please know that no matter what you are loved and cared about and cherished. We are here for you.
I am sorry that I cannot be of more aid but friend please remember what I have stated- all those negative thoughts are lies. I believe in you, you have the power to overcome those thoughts and this occurrence.
Hold fast.
With love,
Lyss(ur old pal Blurryface)
PS: also friend I am so glad to see you back here- I’m proud of you for reaching out. Your presence has been missed.
Thank you for posting here. You deserve so much better than this. You are worth so much more than the hatred you’re giving yourself and the manipulation from this guy. It’s not too late to listen to your head and walk away. It’s hard - but you need to think about yourself and put yourself first. You will be loved unconditionally here - I hope that will help you to see how strong you are and that you do have the power to walk away from this and find someone who will treat you so much better.
Hold fast
Kayla
Hey @nicole_kaley,
Your life is incredibly valuable and you deserve so much more than what this guy is giving you. Remember that what happened is NOT your fault. There is so much fish in the sea and I promise you that you’ll find a guy who likes you just as much as you like him. Everyone is different - it personally took me 26 years to find someone who loves me just as much as I love her (before then, either I liked someone more than she liked me, or vise-versa). I would suggest for you to start over - put him in the friend-zone and find a fish who loves you for the gem that you were created to be. I hope this helps!
-Eric
Hey there @nicole_kaley,
Glad to see you you reaching out on here and I am sorry to hear about the unfortunate situation. First off, do not be mad at yourself. Relationships evolve and sometimes can take a turn that is out of our control, which I can most certainly attest to from my own personal experience. I will say that you definitely deserve better than how he is treating you and I think trying to move past this will probably be of the most benefit. I am by no means saying cut him out of your life completely, but if you do not trust him there are clearly some issues that need to be resolved and some separation may be for the best. Lastly, you are certainly not stupid and you should do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I wish you all the best and take care my friend.
Evan