Everything’s was fine till two days ago. I was happy because it was months I was being happy and ok and enjoying life like never before. Some days ago I met a girl and we talked, chatted and played, and I felt good. Two days ago I reached out and asked her out. She replied she has no time during the week, and left me with no reply as I answered with a joke to keep things easy. I’ve been feeling alone since then. I feel unworthy. I feel not good enough for anyone. I feel boring. I feel annoying. I feel stupid. And I’ve had three sudden anxiety attacks today. I don’t know what to do. I had the chance of being in love after a long long time and feel like I’ll never get anyone to love me back. I’m tired of being alone while everyone’s enjoying their nights out, sex, valentines and all the other stuff while I keep walking and driving my days away. I hate myself and I hate this thing. Everything’s going great but I’m fed up with this. I don’t want to explore alone anymore without anyone to share my enthusiasm with, I don’t want to go to the mall and buying a thousand dollars worth of clothes without being able to buy someone a treat, I don’t want to go home and find no one there apart from my family, who keeps highlighting my loneliness issue making me feel even worse. I’m fed up living like this, having money I can’t spend for anyone but myself, having one success after another without a girl being proud of that, building my body for no one to see except the medics visiting me once in a while. I hate all of this and I honestly don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I couldn’t find anyone in a year, why should I believe I’ll be able to find another one soon? I know I spent most of my 2018 fixing my life, but I don’t see the point anymore. I could just sleep all day and that could be fine. I hate my friends for telling me I’m handsome and intriguing when no girl wants me. Also this turned out to be pretty long since I streamed the whole thing out but I’m nearly crying and I never do that. I don’t even know if it makes sense
I have been/am there buddy. I felt and been the same way. I found someone online that took an interest in me (I am still trying to figure out if it is real or if they have an agenda). Yet I have been there. Let me tell you to hang in there. Someone will realise what you are, but don’t hinge your value on whether someone values you or not. That is a death trap you are setting up for yourself.
Find a substitute like a pet. Animals (specifically dogs) want to be loved and will love you no matter what. They will always be up for whatever you’re up for and love exploring as well.
You might be tired of being alone yet it seems you need to work on valuing yourself. The evidence of being rejected proves you need to develop your acceptance of yourself. (For me, it was my being naturally shy & introverted has cost me wisdom in the art of conversation so I would run away at making new connections. What I did was do the one thing that I was good at. I loved reading so I hit the books. I am also a writer so I have some experience with research. So I hit the internet and looked up how to converse, make friends, be successful, influence and manipulate people along with being confident, interacting, romancing and body language. I hit all the highs and lows. It took my quite an effort to break my introvertness and obtaining some extrovertive abilities.) What you need is a huge injection of confidence.
I cheer you on.
Hi Frappiogia
I’m so happy to hear that you were feeling okay. Even if it was for a little bit that is still amazing! Life is full of ups downs and it seems like the down part is happening right now. But remember that you have gotten through hard times before and you will get through this too. And we will be here to help you.
Loneliness sucks. I’m not going to sugar coat that. I just feel like you are worth finding a relationship that is good for you. That girl who didn’t call you back isn’t the one and idk why she decided to not have a relationship with you, but that was her decision. You deserve someone who can’t wait to talk to you and be with you and you will find it. So that girl didn’t work out. That sucks but just because she felt a certain way doesn’t mean everyone will feel that way. Continue to work on yourself and work on your own health. The right person will come along and these other people will seem so so unimportant in comparison. I can’t promise that you will find them soon or that the path to them will be easy, but I believe they are out there. Hold fast.