There u go making people uncomfortable again

“Stop crying it makes people uncomfortable” I will never forget the day my step dad said this to me . I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know the effects that single phrase had on me but till this day I hate to cry I hate to have bad days I’m afraid to talk to people about how I feel in the inside ,I feel like if I say something I’ll be wasting peoples time ,or I feel like I’d be judged in my family I’m labeled as the drama queen, the attention seeker , the one who always has an attitude ever time I open up to my family about how I feel it always ends bad …this is there favorite line “your have literally nothing to cry or be sad about you have a roof over your head clothes on your back and food to eat” which those things are great but I’m talking about my mental health they refuse to believe that they cause me pain they think that me telling them how they make me feel makes them bad parents .with my parents being important in the church …image is everything the people I thought I could trust to talk to made things worse for me my parents tell my youth leaders lies about me and sell the I’m dramatic and a drama queen thing which ultimately comprises my integrity to them .over the years I’ve been made to feel like the black sheep for not being ok and voicing how I feel …in recent years my older sister who is now 22 has shared with me how she tried to kill her self several times over the years and I’m now starting to see that I wasn’t the only one feeling that way the way my family was set it I can definitely say the in a way it harmed my relationship with all my siblings…our house was definitely divided into “cliques”for lack of better words my two oldest sister are twins they always had each other my youngest sister was my step dads only child for years so she was always “ daddy’s baby girl” and I was the one always getting in trouble none of my siblings likes being around me because it seemed like every time they were around me they got in trouble I was blamed for everything and I was talked about by my siblings to get in good graces with my parents by my siblings I now understand why they did those things it’s because they were feeling the same Paine as me but in there case they were fighting for the approval of my parents it hurt then and it hurts now but I’m trying to be better and not still be hurt because of it but it effects me daily in the way I deal with others it effects the was I see myself it effects the way I react to certain situations and I’m trying to be better But not finna lie it hard af

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Oh man your Step dad is an asshole, that terrable he not only try to understand you. But he think he doing th right, which makes it worst. Every human being has emitions, everyone crys and everyone has bad days that part of being human. Unfortinely, people see being emitional as being selfish, which is dumb way to think. People tell me the same thing and that im being emo and that bullshit. Yes do what try handle thing is the best possible way, but their your just going have problem and your going get upset about. Remember that fine, its okay not to be okay. Its good that you realize you going through mental stuggles. If you could try to go see an therpy, they help figure what going on whatever is anxiety, depression or just need someone to talk too. Its awesome you got this site, so take advaged of that. More people are becoming more open mind of mental health, it good to be open about your feelings whatever it dramaic or not. It best to let it out, that to keep it in. Please try stay strong and dont be ashame to express your feeling, it part of being human.

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Wow. First let me say that I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all of that. I too grew up in a family where my parents were leaders in our church. My dad is a pastor. Unfortunately, though both leaders in the church and the church community should embrace people who are in pain they can sometimes see it as a weakness. I felt guilty for my struggles with depression and anxiety and as a result of that felt like I had to keep quiet. It wasn’t until I got a group of people around me that loved me for who I am that I started to heal. Thank you for coming here and sharing your thoughts. You are not your pain, your pain does not make you weak and most of all, you are loved. Keep pushing forward, friend!

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