Hey guys, this is my first post so bare with me as I get used to posting like this. So when I was 6 years old, my dad left for almost a year. I saw him walk out the door after he and my mom were fighting. In that moment I couldn’t really cry because it just hurt too much if that makes sense. After a couple weeks I was telling one of my friends about it and somebody must’ve overheard me saying it and started making fun of me for it. Then it grew to multiple people saying things like “you’re dad didn’t love you”, or “he left because you’re dumb/fat/weird/annoying” and stuff like that. Over the years the bullying changed to just people making jokes about me and talking about me behind my back. But also throughout the years my friends that I’ve known since elementary/middle school are still staying alongside me and I’m a sophomore in high school. I just feel like how I’ve grown and how reclusive I’ve become I don’t deserve to have the friends I have. They are so understanding and supportive, but I can’t give them that level of support and encouragement that they give me. All of them always say that they won’t ever leave me. The feelings are mutual, but I don’t feel I deserve those feelings from them. Whenever I’m having an off day they’re just by my side even though I may not want them there. I love my friends, but I feel that I don’t deserve them and that they can do better than having me as a friend. Now that I only see my mom, my first ever friend, once or twice a week I get upset by somethings more than others. I can believe that they get frustrated with me, but they always forgive me. Like I said I love them to bits and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but I don’t feel that I deserve to have friends like that. How do I feel like I’m deserving and worth the friends I have? I’ve been trying for years, but the feeling always comes back.
Hello. Nice to meet you. Welcome to the community. I hope you will feel safe, comfortable, and loved. Thank you for sharing. It takes courage and strength to share. It’s amazing that you have friends who love you, support you, care for you, and be there with you and for you. No matter what happens. Your friends are doing their best to stay committed to your friendship. Not a lot of people keep their words. I had ex-friends who walked out of me, and it added wounds to my soul. It freakin’ sucks! I was afraid if it is going to happen again with my current friends I have. I am so blessed to have friends who stick with me for a long time. 5,6,7,8,9,10 years. I am so grateful for the ones who are with me. Despite the hell I had gave them. I encourage you to be grateful too. You think you don’t deserve friendships, but you do. I think this way too. Your friends will be with you until your last breath. Friends are worth fighting for! Heh. I hope you are hanging on. Thank you once again. If you want to vent, this forum is open. God bless you.
Hey there, you are not alone, im sorry your dad walked out on your family. Sometimes relationships don’t work out . My family got divorced in 2010 , they shared a 50-50 custody of me and my sister. To this day im still afraid of my shoulders being touched from seeing a guy who helped us with the schedule. No matter what your father may still love you but it may be hard for him to show it. I suggest trying to get a hold of him if you can.
Sometimes we don’t know how exactly to give them encouragement , when we struggle. They wont leave you because they care about you and i mean YOU!
You are NOT alone, Hold fast you’re worth it!
-Ashley
Hey there, thanks for sharing.
First off I’m sorry your dad made the mistake of walking out, and nobody has any right to make fun of you for it; even if they were just children. You did not deserve that sort of treatment and I hope people tend to be more sensitive in the future for you.
Friend, telling yourself that you don’t deserve the kindness of your friends is just a lie. Friendship is not transactional, and love has nothing to do with the things you can do for people. That’s not where your value comes from. And don’t think you have no support or encouragement to offer, have you thought that maybe simply being friends with them is enough support to last a lifetime? Your friends love you for who you are, and it is just as simple as that. You deserve community because you’re human. You deserve forgiveness when you mess up. You deserve love.
You have worth. You matter.
Hang in there friend,
Jaden
Im so happy you’ve joined us here. I hope that you feel the support, love, and care that Heartsupport has to offer!
I’m so sorry that your dad walked out on your family, you did not deserve that and I know that has had to be challenging for you. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but my father left too. I was tormented for it growing up, and people still make jokes about it. You are so deserving of the friendships you have. Even when you can’t reciprocate what they are offering you. Don’t ever forget that you are worthy of the greatest.
I actually live mainly with my dad and I don’t see my mom much. That started when I was in 7th or 8th grade I believe. And I will try to hold fast, but it’s hard to do that with how my mind works. 
Thank you all for the encouragement! It means a lot that even though you don’t know who I am, you support me and encourage me. I am truly grateful for this community and I am trying to make myself believe that I AM worthy of it all. I will keep trying. Thank you, all of you! 
Your feinds are true freinds and they see the true you and they love you! It only makes since that they would stick with you! They don’t give into the world’s evil and temptation!