Why depression affects me (Dwarf Planet findings)

While reading through HeartSupport’s new book Dwarf Planet, I’ve been able to identify two main reasons why depression maintains a grip on my life:

  1. I am haunted by the inevitable passage of time and the eventual death of everyone I love.

  2. Because of that, I’m paralyzed by the fear of misusing the time I have with those people.

Because of the death of three of my grandparents in the few years before and after I was born and how that continues to affect my family decades later, I’m terrified of how death ruins people. This played a role in the development the depression I now deal with, and is the fear I have to push through to accomplish even simple tasks.

Dwarf Planet has helped me to put a name to why depression affects me personally and given me a step towards healing from it. I want to share this with others so that we can work together to push through the fog that keeps people in the dark and without help.

I would love to hear if this helps anyone, and how this is similar to or different from your own battle with depression.

Much love,
-Amanda

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Hey @Sun_is_rising - Thank you so much for sharing what you’ve learned from Dwarf Planet. It’s on my to-read list (after I finish “The Return” by Lacey Sturm) and your post is making me more excited to begin reading it. I would highly recommend checking out HeartSupport’s other book Re-Write when you get the chance, if you haven’t already!

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Hey @Sun_is_rising!

I’m going through Dwarf Planet too.

I can totally relate to your first point, the eventual death of everyone you love. When my anxiety kicks in, I totally feel that.

For me, I’ve been able to narrow it down to a constant fear of being alone. My dad was a drug addict and there were many times that looking back, I was terrified of being left alone. I did EMDR therapy last year and worked through those events where now the flashbacks and PSTD isn’t debilitating, but depression still sneaks in from time to time.

I’m so glad you shared this. It’s awesome to hear that someone else is doing the book and learning from it!

Hold Fast,
-SJ

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