Hey everybody, I really just need some encouragement and some advice. I live in a small town and am feeling really stuck here. I went out to college and came back home, college was awesome and I was excited to come back home. Once I got back I was excited about starting a business and doing all the things I didn’t have the motivation to do before I went to college. Then a few weeks went by and I didn’t make any moves. I sunk back into my old habits and fell into this state of depression, but I am still functioning I just feel like this on the inside. I am engaged and nothing in my life is really that bad, I should be happy. I can’t figure out what I should do with my life. I have passions like clothing, music, coffee, etc. But every time I try to follow those things they don’t work out and then I feel like a failure. I am a Christian and love God, but if I’m being honest I feel like he just hasn’t been helping me. Feel free to give “christany” replies. I really want God to make a way for me I just feel so stuck.
@Ben_DiFi hey friend. I can’t comment on the last part about God since my beliefs are something that I’ve never really explored for abuse reasons other than, God is looking after you. Sometimes he just takes a step back to help us realise when he does show himself, we can truly rely on him. However I do want to reply a little bit more to some of the other stuff!
You don’t have to have had or have a bad life to be hit by depression. It can hit ANYONE and ANYTIME… Please don’t feel bad about this! I’m so glad that you have things that you’re passionate about - maybe you could take some baby steps towards getting back into those things - there are ALOT of people in this community with a major passion for music, you could get in touch with some of them? 
Have you also looked into Heart Supports new book Dwarf Planet? It’ll help you explore and look further into your depression.
I’m glad you had a good time at college - maybe looking into a way out of your home town and starting up a small business including some of your passions could be good for you if it’s possible
You’re on a forward path and I know you feel stuck, but you will get through it. Keep fighting.
Hold Fast
Kayla
It sucks to fall back to old ways. It feels horrible, but it happens to many of us, and I promise it’s something you can overcome. Usually in these times in life I have found that God is trying to teach me something. I have tried more recently to try to see these circumstances as learning opportunities, and I would suggest giving that a shot. Maybe it’s a good time to reflect, to take some time and think about your priorities in life, what really matters, etc. Then try to dedicate time to those things.
It’s really great that you have several passions. I would strongly encourage you to continue taking time for things you know you love to do, especially when you least want to.
My friend, we’re all there with you. The truth is, nobody ever knows what they want to do with their life. Your life can flip upside down in an instant, and people are retaining jobs for shorter and shorter periods of time. You can do anything. Try not to get in your own head too much about this. I’d suggest taking it day by day and working toward things you desire. If you want to follow God’s plan for you, maybe pick up a devotional and take some time every day to dig into His word. It really could help bring you out of this headspace, and at the same time bring you closer to God. It often helps me.
As you probably know, there are many HeartSupport resources to help with depression as well. From what I’ve heard, Dwarf Planet seems to be a fantastic resource. Never hesitate to need help with things like this. Life is not meant to be walked alone, and it is okay to not be okay. We are all here for you. Thank you for reaching out to us.
If you need more encouragement or anything at all don’t hesitate to reply back.
Hold fast. You will get through this, my friend.
Zachary
Hey @Ben_DiFi,
I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Know that what you’re feeling is relatively common, regarding going away to college and having an amazing experience, then returning to your hometown and feeling sunk and sucked back into old habits. In fact, this happened to me as well. In my situation, my “home life” is relatively toxic, and I found that, no matter what I did - if I did it in the toxic enviornment - it was bad news. I would recommend moving out with friends if you haven’t already. Even if you stay in your small town, at least you’ll be with good company. I hope this helps a little! 
-Eric