Why do they keep forgetting?

I started seeing a therapist at the end of last year, and recently we decided to take a break because we were both not sure what was left to do with me (keep in mind that I have both depression and anxiety, though these appointments were more about the anxiety). He said that we were going to take a break and then follow up in like 3 weeks. The panic attacks lived on, and I still cut, but he doesn’t know that.
And my mother makes these appointments for me as I’m not old enough yet, and she still hasn’t taken me back.
She did this with my last therapist too. Said we were going to go back, and then never did.
So I’m not quite sure what to do about myself, because I’m not getting better, I’m more and more alone every day.
All my friends aren’t really my friends anymore. My panic attacks are just blackouts.
And no one has seemed to notice.

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Dear Faith, I know how saying the truth might trigger your anxiety, but in respect of what to do with yourself is very important that you stay honest with your therapist. I know its easier said than done, but set it as a goal, build up courage to ask your mother to take you back as soon as possible, if you can’t be totally honest to her at least let her know you really need it and that you know what to do next and want to discuss it with your therapist. Once you have an appointment, make it a goal to come clean with your therapist about still cutting and not feeling improvement. Like I said, I know its easier said than done, but when it comes to anxiety, the more we run away from things the more it controls you, its important to set little goals and work towards them, once you win the little battles, you start building up confidence and courage for bigger ones little by little. I see it as eating spicy food, it hurts at first but you can handle more and more little by little, and suddenly what was spicy before suddenly is nothing, or at least less so! (coming from an anxious mexican :p)

*Step one: Let your mother know its really important you go back to your therapist for a followup, and explain a little why, as much as you feel comfortable sharing, maybe one little thing, maybe just say you knw which direction to take with the therapy and need to discuss it as soon as possible.

*step two:Be as honest as possible with your therapists about your situation, you can start by stating I wasn’t completely honest about my situation, ______

Tips: use this letter you wrote here and maybe take a note with you, so you follow a list of things to discuss, if you feel like you have a plan or a to-do list, it might help you open up with your therapist, For example you can list :

  1. Keeping important information about my real situation from my therapist
    2.Panic attacks/black out
    3.cutting
    4.Feelings of loneliness regarding friend group

I know how it is to feel isolated and powerless, but believe me, when you do little things for yourself and win the little battles, things get better. You can do it, you being here is proof of that! write it down as a little battle and check mark it! :smiley:

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@Faith876

You will get better. I believe in you. This community loves you.

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Hi friend,
I’m so sorry. My first experience with a therapist wasn’t the best either and I’ve been weary about going back to therapy.
Have you tried telling your mom how you feel and how you need to go to therapy more often or get more help?
It takes a while to find the right fit for a therapist, sometimes people meet with 10 to 15 to even 20 therapists until they find the right fit. I encourage you to keep fighting to get better and to keep going to therapy. I really do think it will be good for you to just keep fighting the right therapist and the perfect situation for you.
As I said before, I also have trouble with therapists and haven’t really found the greatest help, but I was recently told about a service that HeartSupport works with, called BetterHelp. It’s an online service where you can talk to a therapist for however long you want, whenever you want. I plan to try it out soon, and encourage you to do so also: ) maybe online therapy would work better for you? I don’t know, but it’s worth a shot!
You got this friend. I am so proud of you. I love you.
Stay Strong

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