1,000 Words: Day 18

Word Count 1,013

Today, on my way home from church, I walked up Mount Washington without stopping. Yes, after two years of not exercising I took to the hill with greater ease than I ever thought possible. How cool is it to have a measuring stick of success than being able to move better and breathe better than I have in a long time. That is why I am feeling so excited for the rest of this year. So much in the past has happened in it that I have forgotten the little joys and changes that come when you take the initiative and try to improve yourself.
So far, two things have happened since I decided to add exercise to my routine before writing. One: I am able to bend down better without any grunts. Two: I can tie my shoes without losing my breath again. Adding this third thing is just a piece of icing on the cake.
I don’t exercise for anything else but to be able to move better, sleep better, and be able to just be pleased that I have accomplished something other than sulking in my room and staring at the walls. Of course, this is not a greater purpose, a goal in life. But at least it gives me a reason to keep going. It gives me a reason to not give up on anything. I just hope to remain persistent and keep moving forward.
Forward movement; any movement in the face requires dedication. You can either be dedicated to your health-mental or otherwise- or you cannot. One side leads to change. The other leaves you breathless. So my friends. Choose to breathe. Chose to see that you need to change.

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There is more to this prayer. A part that reminds us to take it all one day at a time and to accept that things are not as we would want it. This is a hard thing for me to admit considering the state of the world today. I want COVID to be over but I know it’s a steep hill to climb. I want everyone to be accepted for who they are but I know that is impossible because humans are fickle and silly comparison-loving creatures. I want to fit. I want my brown hair back. I want a lot of things that just aren’t there. Or are impossible to reach.

Well, impossible to reach right now.

That’s the beauty of progress. Real progress. Things may be impossible, but they are not improbable. Walt Disney believed in that. Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs believed it. Progress is forward movement and it requires a dedication of herculean proportion. But even when those things we want seem so far away, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

However, Progress for the sake of progress leads to nothingness for it leads towards more problems. It is like tying a knotted curly rope once you’ve got all the knots undone more start to form. It is like the Hydra. So how do we progress?
One impossible task at a time. You tackle everything at once. You got to attack each knot separately, smooth out the rope, and try out the next one. Trying to untie everyone all at once just won’t move the rope or the world any closer toward the way we want it to change.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Sometimes, we can’t change how the world works. Nor, can we change the way a person thinks of feels. But we can change our attitude toward the world’s problems. Instead of seeing them as such. We should look at them as challenges. And, instead of attacking the whole problem. We should attack the problem in pieces until the whole picture is fixed. It is better to make little changes so that the bigger change can be seen or felt.

Getting up that hill for the first time like a champ wasn’t my goal. But it felt like a little victory toward changing myself into someone I can be proud of. Being able to tie my shoes without losing my breath, may not turn my grays back to brown but at least it is a tiny win that I can live with.

The courage to change the things I can

I think it took courage for me to accept that I was getting older. It was courage for me to get off my butt and try to set a goal for myself. This project has helped me immeasurably to see that. I thank God that He placed it on my heart. And also, that He motivated me to start exercising again to get my brain going instead of languishing in pain over a blank screen. 1,000 prayers to God for that.

The hill I climb next is the hill toward a stronger faith I think. I just need to find that balance between my spirit and my self-worth. Both had taken a great beating since I left College. After graduating, I felt left behind as if everything that was open to me was suddenly shut out. Now, I need to find the same balance I had back then when everything seemed new and exciting but tinted with everything I have learned since.

And the wisdom to know the difference

Solomon prayed for wisdom. I think I should pray for that too. Now that I am older. Now that I see somethings about myself clearly, I hope God could grant me wisdom to know myself more and to grow in understanding others. Empathy was never my strongest ability, so maybe I should pray for that too. Because with wisdom and empathy comes a slighter understanding about God’s love for us. I should hope I progress toward those things through these writings.

Tomorrow will be a better day because today, I walked up a hill. Next up, that mountain.


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