I was introduced to porn 12 or 14 years back, 2 years into it I realised I was addicted. It has been over a decade battle with this addiction and I cant even count how many relapses I have been through.
I still struggle to this day, 2 years back I got married ( thinking that I can get a hold of addiction prior getting married) and now its affecting my family life.
I am have porn induced ED, and I cant have a child. I am realizing that I am not only ruining my life but now a person’s life who I care about.
I am happy that you were able to come here to the wall and talk about what is going on in your life. You are not your addiction or relapse’s. I know you love your wife very much. Have you talked to her about it? Also, have you considered finding yourself a therapist?
You are cared for and hopefully you can find some peace.
Thank you so much for being here and for reaching out. With addictions, a lot of shame can go along with a deep sense of loneliness. By sharing here about what’s going on in your life, what you are struggling with, you’ve just made a first step, and such an important one. Know that you are far from alone to struggle with porn addiction, and it is possible to overcome this, also to find different ways to cope with the emotions that you might try to avoid with porn consumption.
As @Zephirah said, it would be a good thing to consider therapy or talking to your partner about it. A therapist can provide you a neutral, safe space where you can be helped in order to adress what is controling your life, and your partner could be an incredible pillar of support and strength to you, if you feel like they could understand. Another route I’d recommend you is to look after support groups based on 12-steps programs. Many of them are online too and don’t need you to go anywhere, which can be easier if you don’t want to talk about your struggles with your partner yet. I’ve seen several times the https://xxxchurch.com/ being highly recommended multiple times here at HeartSupport. For a more secular approach, you could also find an interesting support in the NoFap community - not a 12-steps program, but an online peer support present on Reddit, and who probably have support groups who meet online as well. It might be interesting to have a look after those.
You are not alone, friend. There are actions to take and resources to use in order to break down this cycle you feel stuck in. We’re proud of you for talking about it, and we’re ready to encourage you through all of these steps. Hold fast.
Hey Samster92, First off I want to acknowledge how hard it is to be able to share this. There is a lot of stigma around this particular addiction - it is not one that is spoken of commonly. I truly empathize with where you are at. It is an incredibly challenging place to be. If you have worked this hard, over a decade, to get to where you are at today, I am impressed and I applaud you. Relapse is unfortunately, part of the struggle, and I come from a background of addiction. You said you care deeply about your family and I just want to add, I believe in you!!! You are strong, you are capable, and you are worthy. Battling this addiction takes a lot of courage, resilience, and your beautiful truth.
Hey @samster92 , thank you for reaching out to us on the Support Wall and thank you for sharing your struggles <3.
I will try not to parrot other replies here since @Micro and @Zephirah seem to touch on some really good ideas and I would highly recommend checking out the resources they shared with you.
Just know that I am rooting for you and your family to overcome this challenge together and I’m so proud of you for opening up on this platform as that is a major step forward on this road.
