Dear Friends, about two weeks ago, I ended a 6 year relationship. This year started off very rough as in January, he had an emotional affair. He then told me it was because he was unhappy with my weight. From here, things just kept getting worse and he kept devaluating me and speaking down to me. I kind of thought that he would take initiative to correct his mistake but there was never any compassion from him. It seemed more like I was annoying him for being hurt. Well months later, after more devaluation, I couldn’t take it anymore and I decided it was time to end it.
I’m really sad because I legit loved him. I thought we were going to get married and I imagined having a family together. But I couldn’t allow myself to continue being treated that way. I feel like I made the right choice, but I am just so sad. There were issues from the beginning but I thought that if I showed him love, he would value me.
I’ve been working out and taking up hobbies, but goodness my heart just hurts. I didn’t deserve to be mistreated and I’m so proud of myself for walking away from an emotionally abusive situation, but man, I really gave this man my all. And that too, is just so sad to me.
Your partner should appreciate you for who you are, not judge you based on your appearance. It’s crucial that they love and value you as a person. Having insecurities, mistakes, frustration, shame, and guilt is usual. These feelings are part of being human. I might not know all the details of your relationship, but this is just my perspective. It seems your boyfriend might not be a good partner if he makes fun of your weight and devalues you. People shouldn’t judge others’ weight, as they may not know about any underlying physical or mental health issues. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and kindness.
I’m proud of you for leaving a relationship that wasn’t making you happy. You deserve respect from your partner, and feeling betrayed is tough. Your happiness is essential; you’ll never regret this decision. You’re making fantastic progress since ending your six-year relationship. I love that you’re focusing on exercise and hobbies to find joy.
@nohellyfitness thank you for sharing your heart with us here. I know that was not easy when you are feeling so low. I read your post and a few times (over two days, if I’m being honest) before I could response because I couldn’t separate your voice from my past experience. I see you in that feeling of “invested time lost.” I want to commend you on how strong you are! Your ability to try to work past the January events … I was not that strong (at the time).
Six years is a long time, so your sadness is a legit way to feel. And working through those waves of emotion and grief will be difficult but will help you get to the other side of this. And you are 10,000% correct—you did not deserve to be treated that way. You deserve a kind love, a respectful love, a love that never makes you doubt that you are valuable. A love that you can be proud to be a part of. And I believe you will find that with someone else.
We are here for you. I’m seriously so proud of you for putting yourself first and getting out of a bad situation.
PS: Tell me about your hobbies! What have you tried? My hobby is collecting hobbies and quickly dropping them (thanks ADHD! ).
