7 year partner wants to move out, focus on being independent

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partner of nearly 7 years might be moving out. It’s not even like a big messy thing, she’s just been going to therapy for a while now, and on this big mission of self improvement and being a fully actualized person,and she is realizing she has never gotten the chance to be a fully independent adult, so she is seriously considering saving up to get an apartment and live on her own. Maybe for a while, maybe forever.

I obviously don’t want her to go, but I’m also so proud of all the progress she has made. She’s gone from this awful background that would have destroyed anyone else, and she’s losing weight and less depressed than she has ever been, looking for a job again, and she’s just blooming in independence. I’m so proud of her… but of course I don’t want her to leave. It’s a struggle. Living together is so much cheaper, and we are still best friends. She was such a dependent person for so long, and I just wish we could be independent together. We have a big house and a 3 cat family, and she could finally afford the nice things she wants and deserves, if she would stay. It’s so tough to respect her decisions and be so proud of her, but disagree so strongly. Life is difficult.

All these little issues have now come out, and we have been in a rut for a little while. She’s agreed to stay, work on things, and save up money before trying anything. We have both been at our lowest together, and got each other through it. We are best friends, but I recognize her need for independence and personal growth, and I’m encouraging everything I can to facilitate that.

No matter what she chooses, she has my support and my home is always open.

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That is super noble that you’re so supportive of her. I think that’s awesome but I do acknowledge it has to be difficult for you. Maybe it’s one of those things were independence won’t end up be mutually exclusive with change and distance from you. Maybe her life to this point and future life will coexist.

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Thank you for providing that hope. We are still very much so the best of friends, but I understand that we are holding each others’ personal growth back. Maybe we need time to fix what remains broken in ourselves, and then come back to team up against life.

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You sound so selfless, and I appreciate that so much. Life is never easy, especially when it comes to the lives of two people being combined. It’s so nice of you to recognize the progress that she has made, and encourage her to do better. I can tell that you care about her. She is lucky to have you, and I truly hope that things work out for you both. I hope in the mean time, you can also do any growing that you have planned for yourself. Sometimes when we see someone we love doing good, we don’t always do so good. I hope you both can accomplish great things, and be in the best place possible.