There’s one thing that has been on my mind, ever since I first read it.
I’ve wanted to express myself for a long time now. My sexuality, my gender identity, and just- who I am as a human being. I sadly cannot, due to the society I have to live in.
I attend a school in (what I would consider) a very conservative (and religious) place. I cannot tell you where - because I have meant for this to be an anonymous journal - but I can tell you how. Most people here, aren’t really open to the idea of change. If I told some random person in the streets that I was part of the LGBTQ, there would be three scenarios.
They wouldn’t even know what it is, and they would become confused as I try to explain it to them.
They would know what it is, and be against it. Mainly because more than 60% of the people who live in my community are Christian. (Christians are usually against the LGBTQ)
They would know what it is, and be accepting of it. (Though this scenario only has a slim chance of happening)
Heh, it’s not like i’m actually going out onto the streets and yelling at random people that I’m part of the LGBTQ. Just an example…
(Disclaimer: Yes, I attend school)
If i were to go to school as I am right now - Wearing a sweater, sweatpants, and a wool hat - I would be able to walk down the hallways normally. Sure, there would be a couple of people staring, but there’s always someone staring right? Although, if i were to go to school wearing short-shorts, a crop-top, and makeup, (Which is allowed in my school, we have a pretty lenient dress code.) The first second I step into that hallway, a lot of people would start to look at me.
I know they would.
So that is why I struggle to express myself, and that’s just at school. I wouldn’t dare to try and go out in the bare public with something like that. I can’t even think about what would happen. School has rules: No harassment to other students or staff (I’m focusing on the students part here), and no bullying. I know what you’re thinking, “Rayden! There’s always going to be bullies in school, why are you worried about it so much?” and i get it. A school bully can call you the F-slur, and you can report him to the administrators to get him disciplined. Sadly, it’s not like that outside of school. Someone could be walking past you in the grocery store. They could look at you, think you’re ugly, and call you the F-slur. It’s not like there’s an admin for the grocery store to protect people from getting called names.
You just have to deal with it, or stand up for yourself, but I don’t think I would be able to do either.