A bit burned out

Hello everyone :slightly_smiling_face:
I guess you kind of know what this is gonna be about. I am starting to feel a bit burned out. Now I am not burned out like a total burn out but, I can feel it. I am getting more numb and I just dont really enjoy a lot of things. I am chatting with a lot of people and I try to be there for them but it has been getting little hard lately. The thing is its not getting better when i am alone. I am getting burned out in general. I dont have much energy. I just want to do something different, some kind of change, at least a little one. Some kind of new passion. But i know I cant afford this right now because I need to focus on studying. Most of my days are spend procrastinating, studying, chatting and supporting people, listening to music, or watching stuff about roleplaying games.

I have been also having some wonky sleep schedule. There even was a day when I just didnt sleep and was awake the whole night. There are times when i get passionate about something and then 30 minutes later it just stops being interesting. I really feel numb and weird. Like I am tired but i want to do something rather then rest but I dont know what. Its frustrating. I am not really looking forward to anything and I just sort of exist. I have also been having bad dreams lately. I dont know what they very about I remember myself panicking in them. I dont know how to deal with this. Am I supposed to rest or try something… I just dont know anymore. All I know is I want to be less tired and feel more.

I dont know if I had been feeling too much or too little lately. But I just want to feel something intense, pleasant but normal. I dont know how to explain. Maybe I am just not making sence. I am getting more irratated lately. More bored. More numb. More disinterested. More dissociated. Honestly I might not even know what I want exactly. Maybe I am just tired of being me.

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This is me too. It’s like the feeling like you want to do something but you just can’t. It’s strange sensation physically and mentally. I almost want to use the word panic when I describe it.

Last night, I got out my art stuff with a head full of ideas. Set it all up and drew a few lines then just couldn’t go any further. I packed up everything and just sat there zoning out on a show I had on. Happens with video games, cleaning house, cooking and even walking to the front of the house to see what my boyfriend is doing if he isn’t in here with me. It’s hard to even reply here to posts.

I get you totally.

I wish there was some magic fix, there has to be something out there for us right? Cuz this sucks.

Big hugs, I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this @Ashwell :rose: :hrtlegolove:

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Dear @Ashwell,

Acknowledging the first signs of burn out is a real strength. I think I’ve said it during one of our meetings, but more often than not, we become aware of how deep we are in a burn out when it’s already impacting us a lot. You may feel lost at the moment, confused in the midst of commitments and multiple symptoms (numbness, emptiness, tiredness, etc.), but you are still aware that something needs to be adjusted/can’t go on the same way. That is, in itself, a very positive realization.

I promise you that you are not the issue. You are not too much or not enough. You are not too sensitive or not strong enough. You haven’t mentioned these type of thoughts in your post, but I’m saying it because I believe these are the kind of conclusions we can have when our mind starts to wander in unwanted places. Your heart is beautiful, and your personal limits are yours. I personally deal with sensory overload very quickly when my commitments are diverse, social interactions are multiple and responsibilities are strong. With a background of anxiety and depression, our body and mind are already working more than ones who don’t have to deal with these struggles. It forces us to be even more aware of our limits, to be in tune with ourselves and to respect our limits.

I would like to encourage you to take a day off from everything. From absolutely everything. No work. No study. No supporting people. No social medias open or anything that would give you notifications. Disconnect. Have a day with zero commitments and responsibility. Spend time in nature. Play some games. Listen to podcasts, songs, watch a movie or read a book that are on your waiting list. Go get to eat something you used to particularly enjoy before. Light a scented candle with your favorite perfume or whatever it is that is about you and what you use to like when you don’t feel numb. Have a “me” day, one that will be unapologetically yours. But more than anything, create this strong disconnection with everything, just for a day. Your heart needs rest. The world can wait. And your friends and online family will still be here the day after to hug you and welcome you with open arms.

:hrtlegolove:

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Hello Micro :slightly_smiling_face:
Infortunately I cant do this today. There are too many things that need immediate attention. Cleaning up. Therapy session. Etc. I also really want to finish one of the books I have to readfor the exams. There is only the last chapter left. So yeah I cant make that day happen today or tomorrow or the day after that. The first day that I would be able to do this is probably Thuesday. Yeah. I will try to do it then. Thank you Micro for the advice.

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Of course, friend. Whenever it is appropriate for you to do it. Thursday sounds like a good plan.

I’m glad you give yourself permission to rest. This is very strong.

Love you friend. :hrtlegolove:

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@Ashwell My heart feels what you are saying here. Micro is right in that you recognizing the signs of burn out is true strength. It’s also wisdom. You my friend are a very caring, giving person. May I ask where you fall on your priority list of things that have to be cared for?

I’ve found that when people are asked about their top priorities in life, they themselves rarely land on that list. I feel like that needs to change for all of us. I love Micro’s suggestion to disconnect from all things for a day and reconnect with you and who you are. May I be so bold as to go a step further and ask you to take the time to actually block time out for yourself every week? I mean actually put blocks on your calendar that the world doesn’t get to book up. Put you first. Self care is vital to our being able to care for others.

I’ve learned this the hard way myself and my health suffered for it. Now - I put blocks of time off limits to anyone else. It’s just for me. To refresh and do whatever I need to care for me that day. I read, I listen to podcasts, I create (I weave) or garden or just walk and talk to God. I do what refreshes me.

I guess I went through all of that to say that you are so very important Ashwell and we all love you. And we want you to be healthy, strong and at peace within yourself more than anything else. So if you need to rethink your commitments in life and set some boundaries, I’ll stand with you on what you choose is best for you.

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From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Friend, Burnout is very real. It’s a significant sign from your body that you do indeed need to spice things up. This can be super simple, though really easy to overthink. I’m notorious for overthinking and going through this type of burnout. A friend helped me understand that I need something to look forward to and told me I needed to start small. So I started just going on walks and existing in the present with nature and finding myself and focusing on the inner work that is all-too-important. Additionally, Jocko Willink, the former Navy SEAL commander and current podcaster always talks about taking a step back from the circumstance at hand so you can see the broader picture and thus understand what YOU need for YOUrself. Here’s a link to some things that have also helped me… Hope you get back into your groove and crush the game… 4 Steps to Beating Burnout

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From: Aces MCL36M

Hallos! Honestly you’re 1 of the kindest person I have met in a while having a heart just to help people! Going through the same thing as you if I were losing interest in something I liked I would simply take a break from it and come back in a couple of weeks or days and see if your view on that interest has changed. Your a legend Matt!

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From: Ash

Dear Matt I am so sorry you are struggling so much. I know I have talked to you and do talk to you a lot. First off time is a tough thing this is a tough thing. I hope that you know that sometimes we have to step back. We have to find a newish area or place to step from. So right now focus on you. Focus on finding what doesnt make your bored. That hype in a sense. Whether it be silly dogs that look like bears or random cute kitty photos but even if it is a small spark go for it take it and use that to jump from. A lot of what you shared are issues with depression and I know you see a therapist have you shared any of this with them. They also might have some good tips. Also never think that you have to be there for others before yourself. Right now you need to take care of you. Let us be the ones you chat too. How can we help you rather than you helping us. We do very much care. I was thinking so much about the fact that you chose today to care for you rather than be here today and I am beyond proud of you for that.

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Ash!!! :grin::heart:

Thank you so much everyone it really means a lot. Sending love to you all. :blush:

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