I want to thank everybody for being so open and inviting to me for all this time and so I’d like to share something that happened to me yesterday. Nothing big, fancy, or out of this world life changing. But I hope it might be some food for thought and a good way i can have a discussion and share where my life has taken me as I’ve over time, begun to build up my mental health umbrella and tools.
I was at a carnival, my wife and i spent time together, it was a normal night. But i noticed that the one stand worker was very upset every time we walked by. My wife ended up wanting something from that stand so we stopped there. We found out why the worker was so upset. Their fryer went down. But it was going to be fixed and we would be ok if we wanted to wait. Which was ok with us.
I would have never known that the deep fryer was busted if it wasn’t for that. I also noticed how everyone who worked the rides looked kinda bored and as if it was repetitive work. It made me feel sad for some reason too.
So i had told the booth clerk who was looking totally not happy that they mattered and it was ok. The person next to me in line laughed. I couldn’t believe it. Why would someone laugh at that? I was so upset, all i did was try to tell someone what i believe and someone else laughed. But then i thought to myself something that has been something that has been going through my mind, and which David King more elequently puts it than me. Sometimes people laugh not because they think it’s funny, but because they feel awkward. Heartsupport has got a stream of David king being interviewed, I can’t remember where in the stream it is, i have the link but it’s mostly other stuff. If you want the link to the clip about it, let me know I’ll search for it. I just wanted to share this thought while it was fresh.
It took me using my tools in my tool chest to get through it. The biggest was identifying the tools i used. But even i am still human and make mistakes. It was a good learning lesson and i have more to learn each day. Because for all i know, the words were misheard like the telephone game.
I wanted to post this now other things before now as a get to know me but i don’t know how to tie them in to the forum that well. I hope this does. This is kind of a very late introduction post/hi my name is .
So, hi. I’m j71s8, i have epilepsy. I’ll always have depression in some form, but it doesn’t rule my life, and it dosen’t have to take control of yours either. I have a reason to be here. That means you do too.
You’re loved, you matter, and you’re cared for greatly!
Thank you so much for posting this story. It’s an honor to learn to know you a little more, and what you shared is beautiful and inspiring example of love and humility.
It took me using my tools in my tool chest to get through it. The biggest was identifying the tools i used. But even i am still human and make mistakes. It was a good learning lesson and i have more to learn each day. Because for all i know, the words were misheard like the telephone game.
I hear you and the frustration you had at the moment. What you said to this person was very kind, but also it’s uncommon to hear that kind of thing, especially from strangers. Sometimes it takes me a real, mental effort to remind myself that HeartSupport is kind of a “special” place and the rules that apply here are far from being the ones we encouter in our daily life… which is sad, but also somehow the very reason why HS exists too. It’s here that I’ve heard for the first time things like “You matter”, “You are loved”, or “I’m proud of you”. Every single time, it has hit me and made me wonder: “wait, you can’t be serious… you barely know me!”. It takes time to reverse our normality, and trade our cynism for unconditional and unashamed expressions of love. Now even after a couple of years of being around, I try to constantly remind myself that the people I’d try to support as well may have never heard that either, so it’s always worth it to say it and to mean it.
You and Dave are absolutely right: laughing can be a way to ease the tension we feel. If you’re not used to see examples of vulnerability around you, seeing that happening in front of you can be quite disturbing and make you feel ankward. For many, many of us, kindness is associated with discomfort. It’s sad that our world is a competitive one where we are told to “toughen up”, as it makes kindness and vulnerability the exception and not the rule. But each one of us can try to lead the example through daily actions and gestures, whether we’re used to it or not. It’s all about trying, and realizing that being kind to one another doesn’t only gives something to the person in front of us, it also makes us grow as individuals.
Thank you for being this living inspiration for so many. You’re wonderful, J7.
Hey @Micro I know I’m 3 days late (sorry didn’t realized you replied), but I wanted to say thank you so much for replying. I agree that this is a very awesome place, and it’s everybody here, who makes it better. One thing I always try to remind myself is that I need to tell myself more that I matter and that I am loved, so that is one of the thing I always need to work on, especially over the last few days.
Thank you so much for being so kind and positive with your words, i needed to hear the last 3 words.
You’re wonderful too micro
One thing I always try to remind myself is that I need to tell myself more that I matter and that I am loved, so that is one of the thing I always need to work on, especially over the last few days.
Oh friend, that is very relatable as well. It’s incredible how much love someone can pour into others, but not into themselves. We are our worst judge and critic, aren’t we? Thankfully, both as an individual/intimate process and through our connections with others, we can learn to figure out what self-love, or at least self-acceptance, truly implies. I personally like to remind myself that I am no exception in the grand scheme of things, which applies both to the worst (feeling cursed, doomed, hopeless…) and the good (being equal to any other human being in terms of worth and rights). Overall, learning to be kind to yourself and to appreciate your own existence is a learning process, but also a wonderful adventure that will enhance and strengthen all of your wonderful qualities, and heart.
