I’m sitting here at 4:38 am , 22 minutes till 5 am in tears because of what had caused this . I am honestly not ok .
Earlier I had posed a tweet saying:
“When you are afraid of loving someone or having feelings for someone as that you are afraid of it being a “toxic relationship” because of your mental health and being “different”.”
Which is about this guy I met in a gaming community that I felt like I started getting feelings for .
We have tried playing games together with our friends .
Well today during a game he made a decision which pissed me off so I moved , and after that I got frustrated and upset again . I ended up leaving the call cause I was on edge of breaking down . Which I ended up breaking down .
Fast forward he dms me asking if I was ok . I told him I was in a sour mood and I explained how I felt . I explained to him how x y z bothered me etc . I told him I was going to go do something after single player (not sure what I don’t feel like reading dms as I am writing this). This is really hurting me as he’s been what I feel like is my safety . Someone who I trust 100% with my situation . I hate how this turned out the way it did . I don’t want to loose a friendship over this .
Then another tweet saying :
Fear is real
The fear be loosing the friendship , the trust . Someone who I trust/potentially can trust with my life . I hate fighting with him . This really hurts me .
Hopefully you’ve managed to get a bit of sleep after such a rough night. Thank you so much for sharing what’s on your heart. I don’t know what this disagreement was about, but it really sound like something that moved you deeply. It’s so brutal when we genuinely appreciate someone, look up to them and then feel somehow hurt and disappointed as they show a side of themselves that we’d never associated with who they are. It’s such a difficult position. I’m really sorry that it got to the point of having to consider if whether or not you’ll keep interacting with him.
How do you feel about giving yourself some time, on your own, before making any decision regarding this relationship?
Also, may I ask if you know what he responded after you’ve explained what bothered you? Maybe there is a way for both of you to clarify things together.
In any case, take your time and make sure to get some rest. No matter what, you are not alone and you won’t be alone.
Hi Friend, I think if you trust someone with your life, they aren’t going to walk out of your life over you hanging up on them. It’s hard to realize that in the heat of the moment. It’s been a day since you posted, how are things now? Have you talked about what happened? Do you still feel the same? hope everything works out the way you want it too. ~Mystrose
Thank you for allowing us to come alongside you to support & encourage you. Don’t give into the fear. Be open to the possibility of things working out & finding good things at the end of it. You are worth it. You are valid. You are strong. You are enough. You matter.
I hope the last day has been kind to you. And thank you for sharing this. I am sorry that you had to go through a bad interaction online, and had to move (Curiosity - did you have to move a base? House?) But I am sorry you feel like you feel like you lost a friendship over this. Losing trust. I am glad to hear he reached out to you after the dispute - that tells me he cares enough, and understands enough, to check on you. But I hope you are safe, and feeling better. Please know you can come to us when ever you need to talk. You are loved, and you matter.
Hey Friend, Thank you for posting, I do hope since you posted the situation has calmed somewhat and is looking a bit brighter? its horrible when you have a falling out with the person you care most for isnt it, it gives you that sick in the stomach feeling that nothing will every be the same again when really a good friendship can outlive most general disagreements and we all have them, us humans are habitual creatures of habit and with that come stubborness, complaining, and yes arguments but thats ok because we are also very good at hanging on to our best friends. We have our moment, take time to sulk, think it over and then go back and talk it out until the next time. Im hopeing by now you have both had that chat and all is back on track, if not, maybe a message is in the near future??? You are loved Lisa xxx