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hey there,
so specifically this post isn’t about me really, but i don’t know what to do. i’m trying not to make a big deal about this because this isn’t me but it has to do with a family member. Both me and my sister are TOTAL opposites and we have different friend groups. she likes hanging out with her friends and well, i like playing video games and talking to people online while watching them play what ever. my sister is gonna be a sophomore in high school and I will be a senior. well the friends she hangs out with , i think they are a bad influence huge time. one nigh it was like 2 am or even 3 am, i heard beer bottles going in the trashcan from her guy friend drinking and hes just younger then me. i don’t know if my sister is a suspect under this “underage” drinking but i think she is. i don’t know what exactly what to do . my mom knows about it but she is okay with it i guess. tonight they were drinking in her room ( i don’t know who was ) and well they of course had to drop some people off and my sister wasn’t driving cause shes 15 and doesn’t have her permit or licence and my mom let them go out and drop people off and go grab foods. i don’t know what exactly to do anymore besides let this be my sisters issue and not mine but if my father finds out if my sister gets in trouble, i feel like i will get stuck in the middle of this. i have no idea what to do. i have had a few things pop up in my mind but i don’t even want to go there because my own mother would be arrested cause shes the adult allowing underage drinking and i feel like shes the only parent that understands me , and if i were to fall through it i would want to scare my sister to not drink again but i don’t know if she was drinking or if shes not. what should i do or say to my sister about this? will she care about my opinion? if you guys have any suggestions on what to do it would be exactly super helpful.

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Hey Ashley. Maybe you can ask your sister if she’s been drinking. And if she says she has, tell her your concern. Also mention that you aren’t saying these things to be a pain, but because you are genuinely concerned for her (and your mom for allowing the drinking to happen).

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@NomadicWanderer my only concern is what if she promises me to stop but then she tells her friends she has to stop (it she is drinking) and they asks why and she tells them . I don’t want them to call me a buzzkill, or hate me . It’s just I don’t want them to make me depressed and say crap about me . But I don’t want my sister to be an alcoholic or be dead from an incident

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I don’t know what the laws in drinking are in America however here in the UK asking as the parents know and have permission - drinking OUT OF PUBLIC (so within the home) is legal before the age of 18 (the UK legal age). It’s normal for people to drink before they hit the legal age - it happens A LOT. I understand your concern with the driving and I would approach your sister about that. Try and reassure her you’re not mad and just worried even if you are - being angry with her won’t solve anything. I personally don’t know anyone who didn’t drink before the age of 18 outside of the home. (It’s 21 in America right?) just keep an eye on it, make sure she’s not in danger and express your concern when you feel she is.

Hold fast

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Hey @all_around_ashley,

Your situation reminds me so, so much of my situation growing up. My brother and I were total opposite. He was the “skater guy” who hung out with bad influences, and I was the guy who enjoyed staying inside and playing games (shout-out to RuneScape!).

I admire the heart that you have for your sister. You care for her and want to see her better, and we want to see her better too. My little sister is currently 16 and she’s into vaping/juuling. Because this is illegal at her age, I made it a point to find the balance between being too harsh on her and not doing anything at all. I wanted to plant the seed in her mind that I don’t support her actions - so whenever I saw her smoking, I’d strike up a conversation with her and later say something like, “You know I don’t endorse illegal activity right?” with a slight grin on my face, and she’d bashfully look at me. Because I’m not the parent in the situation, I don’t want to put the weight of her illegal activity on my shoulders, but I also don’t want to see her get into trouble (although, sometimes it takes someone to hit rock bottom before they make a turnaround).

Anyway, I hope some of my story helps or inspires you. I wish I had the right answers; I’m just doing what I think is right in this situation. But alas, I’m not a child psychologist. :slight_smile:


Legal age in America is 21. My parents don’t drink and I don’t either. Between me and my sister I am the one closest to that age .

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