My friend just sent me this and I don’t know how to proceed.
“Hey so I wanted to reach out to let you know why I have been unresponsive the past couple of days. I want you to know that it’s not because I don’t care, but it’s just because of me personally. I am learning once again that I am only one person and can only take on so much, as I have my own emotions to deal with as well as my clients, and then my friends. I care so much about your mental and emotional health and am not saying I don’t want to be involved anymore or that you can’t reach out to me when you need me. But I am realizing that I am one person who gets exhausted pretty easily and I want to set some personal boundaries for myself and also help you build up a bigger support system than just me. I know you are in a lot of pain right now and that you have so much going on, and I have been thinking and praying about you a lot. You have grown so much in the last year and I am proud of the steps you have been taking to have a future you are more excited about. I have become increasingly worried about your suicidality, and want to make sure we have all the supports put in place and a network of people to be there for you before any time of crisis arises. I am honored that you have trusted me so much to help you through things, but I want to increase the amount of people you allow into your circle of trust so that there is more accountability and more people there to support you. What I would really love to see is you talking to your dad about how you have been feeling and to clue him into what is going on with you. I know that scares you and you may be angry at me for suggesting it, but I think it would be really beneficial to you to let your dad in on what’s going on with you. I am totally willing to be there with you to talk to your dad if that would help you open up to him, I just really think it is important for someone in your household to be aware of what is going on with you. I am not always going to be available to respond to texts or calls and also will not always have the emotional capacity to help you in all the ways that you need, so I want to make sure that other people are aware of what is going on other than me. I sincerely think you should consider taking more steps to make sure you are safe with yourself in terms of mental health, whether that be getting involved in a partial program, seeing a therapist, or even just talking to your family doctor about your thoughts. I would love to help you make a safety plan for you to utilize when you are feeling hopeless, so you are able to self-regulate in most cases, and to have a list of people to reach out to when you are unable to self-regulate. At this time I am not going to share any information with your dad, although I think you should, but I will have to let him know if I hear something from you that raises a red flag that you may not be safe, because I care about you and find your life very valuable. You have survived so many things in your life and I am proud of you. I want to help you have more tools available to you for when you need it, because I’m not a sufficient resource for you. I hope you feel all of these words covered with love and prayer, because I have been thinking a lot about this over the week. I don’t want you to feel like I am pushing you away. I am pulling you closer and want to help you find resources to help you out in times of need because of how much I care about you. I am thankful for your friendship and have been glad to help you out when you need it. I love you lots and would love to help you get some resources in place if you are willing to let me help you.”
I’m not going to talk to my dad and I told her that.
I asked her why she was concerned and she said “ Because you have been suicidal nearly every day and have thought of different plans, and you are limiting yourself to not allow people into your circle right now”
I told her I’ve been letting people in more lately (if I’m honest that means this week) and she said that’s good.
She also said “I am sorry that you are upset, but hopefully you see where I’m coming from. I’m not snitching or ditching you or doing anything like that, I’m just trying to help you get what you need because I care”
I just don’t get why my life is so important to people, it’s never been in the past. People have treated me like shit for ages and now when I say I’m suicidal it’s suddenly a big deal? I want people to get out of my business. I don’t know what to do or if I should tell her if I’m suicidal in the future. Probably not. I’m shocked and idk what to do.