Im not going to go on too much, I have a couple of concerns and I don’t want to bother my blood family as they have their own troubles so I thought I would bother my HS family instead as I just want to ramble for a few moments.
Im kinda worried a bit about a couple of different things, all out of my control but I get those thoughts that so many can relate to that tell me bad things about what I may or may not have done right or wrong, have I messed up, could I do better etc etc and at the moment those thoughts are frequent and rather excessive and there is that part of me that wants to go round to everyone to get validation but knows how ridiculous that is and how pathetic that would sound so of course wont so will ride it out like I always have but it can be a struggle especially at the moment as im also in another situation… my lung is really starting to hurt again and I have a feeling what I thought was over may be back (its not life threatening) but its getting me down and I really dont want to do that again.
I am really trying to stay positive, keep busy, and hope that im wrong on all counts. To say that it feels a little lonely right now would be on point.
Good lord ive really gone to town on the old feelings in this one. sorry about all that. Its amazing what you think about when you cant breathe properly lol.
Seriously thank you for being on this wall, thank you for everything you do and for being such an amazing little family.
Hey my dear friend
Sometimes validation can be healthy and there isn’t anything wrong with it unless you have a real problem with it, which I can tell you, you don’t. I think that when something is bothering me and I can’t stop thinking about it, I’ll bring it up and get it out. A lot of times, whatever it was that I was worried about wasn’t as big an issue as I believed it to be. So, there was a lot of unnecessary worry and stress.
Also, the people involved are usually people who care about me and would want me to come to them if I had a problem or needed validation. I think it’s reasonable to say that the people in your life feel the same. I know I do.
I’m sorry you’re having lung issues again, that sucks. I know it took a lot out of you last time and I really hope that your doctor can get it together and help you get better quickly.
You are loved
Oh my dear friend,
Please know that you are NEVER a bother to anyone, especially people here at HeartSupport. We tend to overthink so many things when it comes to others as well as ourselves. You have nothing to apologize for. Please take care of yourself. There is no shame in getting things checked out if you feel like it would help bring you answers. My DMs on Discord are always open to you. Always reach out, if you need it.
You are loved. You are strong. You are valid. You are wonderful. You matter.
Thank you for your lovely reply, I agree seeking validation is not always unhealthy but I think you tend to know when your thoughts are taking you towards an unhealthy place and you have to get to play that game of tug of war with them, it can be exhausting. I am very lucky that I can indeed come to you and know I will get both support, honesty and yes validation and I am forever grateful for that, I just do not like being that person.
As for the health stuff, what will be will be I guess it will sort itself out again, with luck it wont be like last time and I have a good friend on my side either way.
Such a lovely reply from a beautiful person. Thank you @StarFox
Someone needs to develop an overthinking drug! id be straight down the pharmacy for that one, its a cruel and damaging passtime that we dont get to choose isnt it?
I am so grateful to you and for you. Thank you so much for your kind words and your DM offer which of course goes both ways.
Ever watched a sporting event?
Top of their sport players? And maybe there’s some injury or the conditions on the day are hard for them, maybe their coach got held for embezzlement, lol.
Even the top athletes benefit from a cheering crowd.
You’re an amazing light in the community, and your worries, concerns and any thoughts and feelings are valid and IMPORTANT.
It’s amazing to say you have been having a rough go at it lately and need some pep talk and cheering on, i did that in my last post, and I want you to also know that we love you and appreciate you, and we are here to listen to you too
Hope you get some news on the condition and that it’s not too worrying until then. But i encourage you to “Bother” us as much as you need and want and just get those feelings out so that you can mentally focus more on doing what you need to and want to.
You matter, you’re loved @Lisaw1973
Seeking validation is okay, @Lisaw1973. Anxiety itself can bring so much self-doubt and disrupt our thoughts in such a distressful way at times. Many times I find myself in this high anxiety, feeling like a burden and wanting to retreat as much as possible. There’s this paradox of needing others yet wanting to stay away because of a fear of being “too much”.
You’re not too much. You’re a real treasure who is, just like most of us, prone to deep doubts at times. Having friends by your side can be a way to be reminded of some truths and find clarity during times of distress. You are never a burden. There’s so many people on here who love you and care about you, who want to be by your side during those times. It’s okay to allow that type of connection to happen.
Please always try to open a DM or reach out to people you trust whenever you need reassurance about something. The very fact that you’re worried about bothering others make it unlikely that you ever would. On the contrary, you’re more prone to take more precautions than necessary. I promise you that there is nothing shameful or ridiculous in what you could share. We all need others at times.
You are loved and cared for, Lisa. If we could help in any way, please let us know.
I hope your body will give you a break too. This has been ongoing for a long time and I hate the fact that you’d be in pain. Take care, friend.
Hi Lisa. I am so sorry your lung is starting to hurt again. I know how much pain it has caused you already. Have you talked about it with your doctor? Maybe there is something that could ease the pain. Looking for validation is not pathetic or ridiculous. Its just one of the things we do that is natural to us. It takes time and practice to count on inner validation more then outer validation (unless you are a very self centered person from the get go) and even so we still like to hear validation from other people. We are social beings and we are dependent on each other in many ways so seeking validation from others is natural, however one must remember that self validation is equally important. One must never be dependent on only one type of validation. Too much dependency on one type or another is not healthy.
I am glad you are trying to stay positive but you have done great by expressing your more negative feelings here. Hang in there Lisa. You are loved and we care about you very much
@Sita @Micro and @Ashwell, I am so sorry I have only just seen your replies. I am very grateful for them, I never imagined having people around me that were so kind, understanding, reliable and most importantly genuinely wonderful people.
You have not only shown kindnesses but taught me how to be that way too and for that I will always be thankful.
Whatever happens with life and health having you all in my life is a gift.
Thank you again.
Much Love to you. Lisa
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