In 2016 I had a security job.
4 floor garage.
I also had a stalker at the location. I had to leave cause it was too much. But last night I had a terrible memory I had locked away came back.
It was the last week I worked there. The guy in question was stalking me, no matter what I did. I knew there was a locked door I had access too but he didn’t. I could use it to sneak away from him.The top 3 floors had cameras everywhere, the 4th…not so much.This hiding area, was on that floor. On my way to that area he came up behind me.
He knocked me out. I think it was a pipe?
I was only out for what left like a minute or two at most. But by the time I came too he was already stripping me, my shirt undone.
All security guards are “armed” in one way or another, I had pepper spray. So I used it and Ran to the locked staircase, redressed, and went back up to the top floor. Then locked myself in the boiler room.
I was a mess, sobbing, panicking, I ended up getting sick. So I called my boss and requested the rest of the day off since I had gotten Ill.
I didn’t tell anyone what he did.
I just told them he was stalking me, It was handled as it should have.
I feel like that moment stopped me from wanting to get another Job. I was hurt, attacked, I didn’t trust anyone. So I lied and said I was putting in applications, and never did. I never wanted to work again. I never wanted to have that happen again.
I don’t know what to do with myself now that this memory has come back into light. I don’t know where the guy is, his name anything. I know the place I worked at no longer exists. I just feel disgusting, and ashamed. I know in time I can get past this, it just hurts so much now that I have this back in my memory. to put with the pile of other assaults on me.
I just needed this to be out, so I can start healing past this like everything else. In time.
Thanks for reading.