A Long Week and the Backstabbing that Came with It

So I am so angry right now and I cannot aim it at the person I want to at this time. So this past weekend, I was in crisis and destroyed some old clothes and pillows with a knife, smashed a watermelon, and dropped a 20lb weight/plate through my 3-1 printer. This all came from the pressure I was under, me being unable to keep myself calm, and missing out on meds completely since my last post (20ish days ago). Before I even did this I sent my three children and two kittens upstairs with snacks, TV, and my oldest with his phone.

Now before I even took the route of destroying things, I called both the twins’ father and my 11 y/o son’s father and told them to get the kids or I had to call the state/911. I even tried venting to my sister. The twins’ dad, being the asshole he is, told me “well you better call the governor.” That’s what lead to the the destruction instead of me being able to ground myself. His joke was what sent me completely over the edge because I was in crisis and he was joking about it. Eventually when I found myself no longer destroying stuff, but still hyperventilating, panicking, and still in crisis, I called 911.

They arrived and did all they could to calm me, but I went into a semi-catatonic state where I could hear everything around me, but no more than that. I could not move, I could not see very well (everything was blurry), and I could barely speak. He walked into my home after the cops and paramedics arrived and hollered “What the fuck, Keisha!” as if I had damaged his home (which it is not by any means). The paramedics and cops both said “wooooaah, we don’t need that right now so quiet down or leave.”

He then pretended like he was concerned. Now while I was in the Crisis Stabilization Unit/ER. I called my mom and she told me how children services was called, but only for two of my three children. This asshole called Children Services on me and told them I was unfit to care for our children. Now before anyone say I am making assumptions, this man has tried to have police remove my children from my home after he started and altercation and then called the cops on me. He’s also told me he was not getting a legitimate job because he’s not paying child support for his five (yes, 5) children. I’ve had to put food in his mother’s house and always make sure they have every little thing they need so that she (NOT HIM) can watch them while I work or when they are supposed to be spending time with him.

I don’t understand why he keeps trying to backstab me when I’ve given him money when I didn’t have to, kept secrets of illegal things he has been doing and so on and so forth. I’ve never given him a hard time about our children. No the social worker did not tell my mother and me who called, but he’s the only on who could give my new number to children’s services. He’s the only one who came into my home while the police was there, he gave my mom and hard time and she knew it was him because he is the only one who calls her V* Mitchell (which is what children services called her), and as I stated it was only about the twins, not my 11 y/o. I don’t understand why I’ve done so much for him and this is what I get in return when he knows my children is my only reason for living and making it this far.


I’m really sorry you had the episode, and you children’s father only made things worse. He acted in the worst possible way, as though he wanted you to lose control of yourself. Though it’s a pretty expensive coping strategy, you could’ve done much worse than just breaking things.

It’s absolutely essential that you maintain your medication routine. If it’s a financial issue, there are programs that can help. Your doctor or therapist can put you in contact with them.

You did really well to send the kids upstairs. If you can, establish a contingency plan, to send the kids to a friend or relative if you feel as though you’re beginning to decompensate. Hopefully, if the meds work, you won’t get into that emotional state again.

I really don’t think he should be allowed in your house. If he’s involved with illegal activities, he could potentially drag you into it. If he’s not in and out of your home, it’s far less likely that such a thing would happen. It also sounds like he’s emotionally abusive, which is grounds for a restraining order.

I suspect he’s a factor in your emotional volatility. Are there other things upsetting or overwhelming you? If there are, talk it out with someone. It would be good if you could have a therapist or counselor who is willing to speak on your behalf, if he continues to try and make trouble.

Keep the house nice and neat all the time, in case a child protection worker shows up. As a former guardian ad litem, I did a lot of home visits, and the condition of the environment was a major consideration. Besides, when the home is in order, it helps a person feel good about themselves.

I hope your next week is much better. Please stay in touch and let us know how it’s going. Wings

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I truly agree appreciate your support and suggestions.

As far as this goes it’s just a habit of forgetting and my mother is my normal reminder, but I was mad at her. We’ve discussed seeing if I can have a visiting nurse to ensure I am taking my meds.

He truly is no linger invited to my home because I’ve helped him with money for car repair, celebrated his birthday with him (buying him his fave alcohol), and always had his back when it came to getting not only our children things but his two oldest children things as well. I have been nice for too long and before it makes me bitter I am setting a new boundary.

yes there were, but everyone (besides him) decided and realized they may have been partial cause to my breakdown and came together to support me rather than give me a harder time. Right now the only upsetting thing is his betrayal.

So luckily for me, although my place is normally clean, my sister, her best friend, and my mom cleaned up my mess and made my house look a thousand times better. When I got out of the hospital the lady called and I invited her into my home immediately. She was able to see my interactions with my children, see my children’s rooms and bathroom, and even seen my kittens lol. My mom kept talking about how she knew it was my BD and I let her know this is the first time he tried to have my children removed from my home, but this is the first time he had children services involved. Again she did not violate any of her protocols. I let her know how their dad always needs my help with food and clothes when I take them over there and how he has thrown a fit because I would not give him money for his personal use. I have proof of it from March 2021 and proof that he deems me mentally unstable when he does not get what he wants. *if these are inappropriate to post, I have no issue deleting them. No one’s names were used accept mine. Also note he says “she is getting their shoes on.” This is his mother who has always watched them; he has never been there when I drop them off and pick them up.

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Wow that’s a lot you are going through with him. I’m so sorry he is making things so difficult for you.

I know someone in my family going through something similar. They are trying their best to co-parent but the other person is making it difficult. The best thing I can say is keep it strictly about the kids and get some court ordered mandates going on. Keep communication minimal and hold the higher ground, especially since he can use his texts just like you can use yours in court.

I am so sad that he is using your mental health against you too. I hope I can reassure you that you are absolutely doing your best, I can see it from here! I think it’s amazing that you are still taking care of yourself and putting your mental health on a top priority, too. When you knew you were in crisis, you reached out for help and that’s huge. Keep on top of the meds, too.

I can relate to kids being the only reason to go on. It’s hard when it gets to that point, and especially harder when you have someone beating you down continuously. I see there is a will to live in you, and I am so proud of you for holding on to that! You are a strong, great mom.


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