A movie and a Panic attack can lead to breakthroughs

Well here is my day I went to the movies today. I saw the movie called a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The movie was about Mr. Rogers and how he had a a relationship with a reporter who was doing an profile piece about him. When in reality Mr. Rogers was interviewing him and being his friend and trying to get to the root of the reporters problems. He was a man that had abandonment issues with his father. The report was abandoned by his father as a child and keep his feelings from people. Until he popped up at his sisters wedding. It had seemed that he and the sister had made amends. Yet throughout this movie he is supposed to be interviewing mr Rogers and learning about him he was learning about himself and his problems. That he had with is father and how forgiveness needs to happen in order to movie on from the hate. Turns out that his father is dying and he doesn’t have much time to make amends with him and in the end he does. After the movie I sat and rejected on my own abandonment issues I have with my grandma. As I came home I began to write her a letter telling her these feelings I had a panic attack and it was these feelings that overwhelmed me in the moment. I told myself no you have had these feeling for 13 years of your life you are not gonna let these feelings keep you from being a better grandson to her. Being that I am her only grandchild I harbored these feelings for those years. And then in the moment I let them come all at once I was panicking but alive. I made myself some tea and breathed life and then put on my most anger rock album that I had called Of beauty and rage by the band Red . And I wrote my letter and then I realized she wasn’t the only one who I needed to forgive and write. I need to write my feelings to my aunts as well. One who has been around my whole life yet she doesn’t know me. And one who I had the best childhood memories with and now as an adult it’s has been hard for me to rekindle a relationship with her after she had not been in my life since I was 10 or even younger. But now I know the hard part is done and I am ready to face these feelings and learn to be better instead of bitter towards them. Anyway that’s how a movie and a panic attack lead to my breakthrough


my hat’s off to you my friend!