I just wanted to come on here to share that today I’m 150 days without harming myself. Have there been moments that I almost gave in? Yeah… 100% . And there are still moments i don’t know yet, why i want to … But i already know more than before and the safety plan that I made with my therapists seems to be working better…even though it still needs improvement … It’s better than it was before …
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Hi @nyntje
I’m so freakin proud of you! I’m smiling big right now 
Keep using those great coping skills when you feel weak and know that all you have to do is reach out here and a flood of support will come your way if you need us.
You are VERY much loved here 
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I’m so proud of you, @nyntje. No, this isn’t a peaceful journey and there are many times when the call to hurt yourself again must be very strong. But you are here, standing still, fighting still. You keep building resilience. THIS is what you are capable of. Always.
May you celebrate this new milestone reached and treat yourself kindly.
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Hi Nyntje,
this is amazing and truly a milestone. Be proud of yourself !
there will always be room to improve, for you see your progress, what is great to hear. we are
all proud of you , i am proud of you. we are happy that you are part of us and sharing your progress.
happy for you, enjoy this, you definetily deserve that. you matter my friend,
feel loved and hugged
Greetings
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Look at you!!
busts out the old confetti canon
So proud of you, for the 150, AND for trying and working hard to keep this going. This is awesome progress, good going in fighting the urges.
And a tiny little side note: you know what I love love? There’s no “sorry” in this post, this is just you feeling good about you. That makes me so happy! Proud of you!
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SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
150 days is a huge milestone, but what I’m really proud of is that you kept trying, even when things were hard, and even when you slipped. When it would have been easier to stay down, you got back up and you kept trying, and look where you are now!!!
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thank you for noticing that… I actually actively try to say it less. only on really bad days and moments do I have no control about how much I say it… thank you for being you <3
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that’s sooo awesome! 
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That’s so great to hear! I know others and I here are so proud of you!
That sounds like intrusive thoughts when you still have “those moments”, and I would suggest that (you probably have) you discuss those with your therapist as well. There are resources out there too that you can use to expand on if you need more to go off of. I’ve downloaded quite a few resources from sites like psychpoint to look from.
Congratulations! This is an awesome milestone! We’re all rooting for you.
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I still have those dark thoughts that lead to me wanting to harm, yes. Even though it’s over 160 days of not harming now… I have tried various therapy options, including a course on balancing things and getting insight in my thoughts about it… it didn’t help. The thoughts get worse during that one time in the month. There are multiple options that we’ve already discussed, but that doesn’t take away that I still have that feeling that it’s only a matter of time… My dark thoughts are already less hard then they were before… but they’re still here… I’m just not sure if even more therapy would actually help though…
@nyntje!!!
I am so incredibly proud of you my friend! 160 days is huge and amazing! I know you fight the battle daily and I have so much respect for you for that strength. It’s been an honor to watch you battle through this, do the work of therapy, to keep putting in the effort, reaching out, and being real. And you are here encouraging others. This is what the HS community is all about. Thank you for sharing this journey with us!
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Therapy is a long process. It could take several months, or even years to really feel like it “helps”. Have you tried using the resources, or even the safety plan resource here? I’m glad to hear it’s been 160 days. Hey, 165 now, that’s great!
I’m not sure if you mean like, “that time of the month” that AFAB people experience, but it might be an idea to ask your therapist and doctor about getting tested for PMMD. It’s premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I’m looking into getting tested for it myself.
Hang in there, nynje. You’re doing great things at a monumental level-- I know it seems small, but you’re doing fantastic.
Just know, what you have on your banner applies to you to hun.
You are loved, you are strong, you are beautiful, and you are important.
If you ever need anything at all, we’re always here for you.
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I’ve been in therapy for over 4 years now… so yeah I know it’s not an immediate fix and that sometimes something doesn’t hit the thing or the cause well enough.
I have looked into PMS, but it’s not something that I can officially be diagnosed with…
You may need a different therapist, or maybe a different scheduling with them? I go weekly now, honestly. I would say that the reason you may still have that thought itching in the back of your head might be because you were so accustomed to having that as a coping mechanism for so long, and that in that particular moment-- it’s all you can think to do. I’m proud of you for overcoming that overwhelming thought, it’s hard, but I know you’re doing a fantastic job already, nyntje.
As for PMDD, it is recognized in the DSM-5. It says that you can talk to your primary care provider, a OBGYN doctor, or a clinical psychologist for getting diagnosed. PMDD is a severe form of PMS.
Hang in there friend, I’m here if you need me.
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