I am shocked and slightly overwhelmed that “she” wants me in her life as a potential romantic figure. The last time this happened, she went back to her unfaithful ex and left me to breath what was left of our connection. I was left abandoned, depressed, and lonely. I also took this time to heal, love myself, and depend on my own ability to generate happiness. However, now she lured me back into the some kind of romantic connection with her again. I don’t know if I should allow my heart to open up to her. How do I know I can trust her? I’m still processing the fact that we are talking again. I need guidance and answers. What is it about her that keeps me hoping we get into a romantic relationship?
Hey, I’m sorry tyler but giving her another shot might hurt you more.
Sometimes the person that left us and because they left we start to caring ourself and at the same time we suffer, In my opinion and like @Ray have say, the best for you would be if you dont give another chance, for your well being.
But I know the last decision is your to make, so if you decide to give her another shot, be careful.
And answering why you get hopes for you to get in a romantic relationship, maybe is because there is somenthing about her that attract you.
But whatever you decide, make that decision always looking for your well being and what would make you better.
This is sounding alarm bells in my head, and all I can say is RUN.
This sounds verbatim like what happened with my ex. She left a guy for me, then she left me to go back to him. That fell apart so she came back to me. I wanted it to work so badly, but the trust was gone. I became possessive and codependent to the point of desperation because I knew what it was like to lose her and I never wanted to feel that again. All the while, she was texting other guys including her ex, even hanging out with them on occasion. She insists that she never cheated on me, but I don’t know what to believe between twisted half-truths and outright lies that she told all through our relationship. Hell, even if she admitted to cheating the entire time, I’d have said it was okay for the sake of keeping her in my life.
Trust your gut. If you have to talk yourself into it, or if you have to ask us if we think it’s a good idea, stay away. If being with her is intoxicating, so much fun that you wilfully ignore the red flags, don’t trust your judgment–it’s been compromised by dopamine and sex. If you have to work to convince yourself “maybe this time will be different,” remember: she up and left once; she may do it again, and all the pain you felt before will come back even stronger.
What? Me? Scarred? Traumatized? Triggered? Nah.
If this girl is very selfish, she doesn’t even deserve you. I don’t think you should trust her, she’ll probably abandon you again.
Thank you all for your feedback. I will certainly consider these responses moving forward.
These are questions you can only ask yourself. Are you willing to put time and energy into a person who made you feel this way about yourself in the past? And if so, why? If you’re willing to look past the hurt this person caused you in the past, you need to clear about what it is YOU are expecting from this relationship this time, and if she isn’t willing or able to meet your needs then I think this isn’t for you. Honestly, if I were in this situation I would rather not give this person the time of day, yes everyone deserves to find what they’re looking for but I wouldn’t be the one to give it to someone who caused me so much hurt in the past. Plenty of fish in the sea.
Hey @Tyler777 we covered your topic on the HeartSupport Twitch stream today. Here’s the live video response:
I watched every bit of this video and can’t thank you guys enough for validating my thoughts. I took all of your suggestions and concerns into consideration. This helped me a lot today.
I’m happy it helped you <3