A Sort of "Toxic Optimism"

I never really had a chance to share my resentment for this; this seems like a good place to talk about it.

There are always gonna be people in my life who have a very surface level understanding of productivity/happiness; when I’m pissed off these people tell me to drink water/meditate/some other bullshit. When I can’t get any work done for hours, days on end they tell me to sit up straight/work somewhere else/make a todo list.

They’re so deluded by the simplicity of their happy, productive lives that they go around tossing that advice at people as if it’ll help. It DOESN’T; all it does is piss me off even more.

This resentment made me act in very odd ways against certain people; I used to have a really big group of friends that I’ve known for a few years. A few years back though, they all unanimously decided to sign up for a series of advanced classes; I decided to follow them. Over the next couple years, I became worse and worse of a student. With so much work coming from these classes, I just lost motivation to stay on track. It was common for me to have 50 late assignments per class. The result? I was forcibly removed from these “advanced” classes by the time I got to high school, and continued failing the classes I took.

My friends seemed to find it easy though; they all somehow managed to keep themselves afloat.

Now, they’re all these fucking amazing people with all these hobbies; they post on their social accounts about their active, happy lives. They meet up several times a week.

I hate them for it; I often harass them via texts. They don’t give a shit about me; some of them haven’t said a word to me in over 2 years.

I feel like I’m not being clear trying to talk about this; I just don’t know how to emphasize the full extent of my anger. These arrogant fucks are living perfect lives while I spend 12 hours a day doing my homework. Even with my parents carelessly throwing their money at tutors I don’t understand anything. I just stare at my work, night after night… for YEARS I haven’t been able to get work done… and it’s been worse than ever with distance learning. I fucking hate these wretched animals that call themselves people; they pretend to be your friends, they pretend to support you, and when you need their help they can’t even give you a crumb of pity.


I can see you are experiencing so intense anger right now and I am thankful you came here to share this with us. I think when people say things like “just do this” or “just do that” it becomes quite frustrating because unless they have experienced what you have, they wont truly understand the struggle. I find that they are well intentioned but in order for them to make it make sense for themselves, they often end up giving advice and suggestions that are less than helpful. I am sorry that has been a reality for you for so long. I can’t imagine the stress and sheer exhausting you must be experiencing.

Although your group of friends took a different path than you with the advanced courses and seemingly perfect lives, it does not mean you are any less. Plus social media only lets us see the best of people’s lives. What they want us to see. It sounds like you are fed up with people being fake and just want some genuine no BS support which I can understand. Everyone does things in their own time and comparing ourselves to other’s and their lives and successes perceived or not, really takes it’s toll. You are doing the best you can right now my friend.

Hannah Rhodes


THIS!!! I hear this!!! I feel the same way about the “toxic optimism.” I even tell those around me don’t do that shit, please. Just let me vent or have a meltdown or dance and scream the lyrics of Under Pressure and all the songs on my depression list. I hate following the advice of others even when it’s in my best interest later down the line, but LET ME LIVE! I can understand why it makes you angry and resent them for achieving what you haven’t. I’ve been there, but trust it just means you have your own path to follow. You have your own thing, and hell, maybe you just haven’t found it yet, but you will in your own damn time. Sounds like you need a new set of people who will listen and stop for a moment to show they know what you’re going through. To see you for who you are and who you want to be. To encourage you to follow your heart. And not to sound weird, but I hope none of what I stated comes off as that toxic optimism.

Hold Fast Friend and my inbox is always open!


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