Yesterday’s journal entry - a testimony.
Today’s breath in my lungs - a miracle.
Still and will always be seeking peace and stillness, but I know it’s there. Even when I don’t see it or believe it, I know it’s there. I know His grace and mercy will follow me the rest of my life and that His love won’t stop chasing me down and rescuing me right before my wits end.
This day, one year ago, I found myself in the emergency room with no hope - not even in God. The days leading up to this point, I spent many moments on my knees in desperation, calling out to God with no answer, no sense of direction, no peace and no hope. I was done.
But while I was in the ER, God showed himself through what I like to call, an angel. There was a Chaplin who visited me in my room. She told me she wasn’t even supposed to be there that night. She asked me about why I was there and then she began to read Psalm 62 and reminded me of how Jesus even struggled with the same feelings/thoughts I was struggling with. I will never forget that moment. And because of her, I was able to admit myself to the hospital, clutching my bible, knowing that God was with me every step of the way.
I say this story not to get attention, but to tell you that just because you may be in a dark season that you feel like you will never get out of and you’re desperately waiting for an answer, sometimes God let’s you wait until all you can do is depend on Him. Till that moment when He shows himself and the only explanation to your rescue and redemption is HIM.
He will send out an army to find you even in the darkest night. He is ALWAYS there.