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A thought on... I don't know. Covid and stuff

I’ve reached a point in which I dread my town to come out of restrictions. I am also slowly fading away in them, having realized that, while I am rather introverted and was somewhat OK with the closing of everything, I come to feel the lack of some things, like seeing friends every now and then, having at least the option to go out and do something and changing your schedule to break monotony.

Yet today what I feared has happened. Santiago is divided into several communes, and the city is ripe with socioeconomic divisions. I live in the rich area. My entire life I have lived in two communes, Las Condes and Vitacura. Both are part of a set of three (or four, depending on who you ask) that usually vote to the right, are somewhat conservative have actually earned the fame of trying to live in our own reality, with nice suburbs and such. So obviously we were target of some things in the social tensions of 2019.
I really don’t want to describe myself politically because that’s not the point of discussion and its usually destructive in the long run.

We were also the first set of communes that were sent into lockdown when the virus arrived. Since higher income means more people travel then it is sort of natural that the virus first appeared here. Jokes were rampant on how we should be secluded from the rest of the country and other rather nasty takes on incest. It wasn’t great. Then everyone got locked down.

My country has used a communal strategy. That means they decide if you go on lockdown based on how your commune and the nearby communes have done in the pandemic and how the cases are going. Since we were the first to be locked down, we also turned out to be ahead in the race to lower the cases after the First wave. So when we were released attacks didn’t wait: That we were only getting that treatment because of money, that it was all an attempt to kill the people, that it was just big business in the area doing their move on the health policy. Surely nothing to do with people actually observing the lockdown, since every time somebody from the three communes or from those schools in the area or with a foreign last name got involved in breaking the lockdown we were all thrown into the same sack. No. It had to be that we are somewhat inconsiderate and just plain evil.

And I know this kind of talk is just better to leave be and not pay any attention. That I should just see what I have done and see if its enough. And I have done my best. But when the talk on Social media and even formal media is just that you start wondering, doubting, and then believing. A part of you believes that you are part of a group that is just bad and should be casted out of society. A part of you decides to listen. Then, two things can happen. You can act all sarcastic on that, doubling down on the attitude they wish to set for you, parodying it for your own sanity, or you can start a conflict with yourself, a never-ending questioning, self-observation and evaluation always joined by self-deprecation and a downward spiral.

Today we were released again. And I just hoped it wouldn’t happen. I hate myself for it, I hate the circumstances I was born into for it, and I hate myself for hating them. I find it very hard now to feel that I have a genuine place in the society that is being made again as the country readies to write a new constitution in the coming months. I feel like an outcast. And I know, due to the way my countrymen are, that saying it like this will get me mockery and even hate. But that’s just how I feel. And while I don’t want to, I feel it’s my duty to withdraw and vanish.

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Your first duty is to protect your emotional and spiritual well-being. If in order to do that, you need to avoid political conflict, it’s okay. Whether you born into a rich family or poor one, it’s not your fault. No one benefits from guilt related to being born into a decent financial situation.

There are huge numbers of people in this country who believe in outlandish conspiracy theories related to the pandemic. Something no one seems to talk about, is that if everyone had adhered to the medical community’s recommendations, this entire Covid thing would have been gone a year ago in March. The issue has been politicized here as well. Some politicians are going after votes by reinforcing absurd conspiracy theories. The issue is also very nuanced and complex.

It seems as though political extremism is emerging all over the world. Empathy, tolerance, and compassion are giving way to toxic nationalism. A lot of people are easily misled, and politicians are exploiting that.

Much of the world seems to be losing its mind. Harsh and bitter judgment is commonplace. Telling the truth can put someone in mortal danger.

Despite our tragic social and economic problems, it is essential to remember that hate only feeds the fires of social destruction.

In the midst of the chaos, some still seek to heal and care for others. There are courageous and compassionate heroes. It’s still possible for an individual to focus on improving circumstances for themselves and others.

Don’t hate yourself. Don’t hate others. Some people are horrible. Still it does no good to hate them. Every person has a back story, which has a lot to do with their current mental state. Terrible circumstances are instrumental in the growth of compassion for some people, and have a complete opposite effect on others.

Introspection is a good thing, and you may encounter conflicting thoughts, or perspectives that do not agree with those around you. If you have the courage to face yourself, both the good and bad parts of you, there is no need for self-deprecation. Asking yourself questions is a good thing, even if you don’t like the answers. Self honesty is how wisdom grows.

I guess I am an outcast too, as my political beliefs are not the same as most of those around me. I just try to be pleasant, and avoid confrontation. Changing someone’s mind about their politics virtually never happens, therefore discussing them does little else but create tension.

In this limitless universe, we are just a tiny speck of dust, and despite our varied and often delusional beliefs, were all in this together. Maybe we can do something positive every now and then.

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Hey @Wings, sorry for taking so long to reply. Kind of got sidetracked with things. A lot.
But yeah, thanks a lot for your reply, I am not sure I can put how much on words.

First thought that came to my head on avoiding political conflict is that it actually means standing away from political discussion and relevant social issues, which is something I am not attracted to (I suppose years of being told I was part of a group that would have to fix the problems if the country aren’t too keen on letting that kind of thinking go through). After a second read I find myself on more agreeable grounds with what it actually means: avoiding conflict, particularly on media and circumstances that are not constructive. I suppose the issue there is learning how to recognize those and finding constructive alternatives. Conflict avoidance is something I often do, but usually I walk away with a feeling of tension and overwhelming anxiety, so I suppose there is somethign there I am not doing right and need to work on. As for guilt brought by background, I fear that is rampant in this society and trying to fight it might not be fruitful, I still hope I’m wrong on that, but at least I can be better than the avarage on that front.

Best regards.

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A lot of people not only want you to agree with them, but they want you to join them in political conflict. If you choose to avoid conflict, many will judge you harshly. The surprising thing is that often the same people will get behind you and push you into a conflict, essentially using you as a shield and weapon. We rarely notice that they are avoiding conflict by pushing you into it. We are more likely to be focused on feeling anxious and guilty due to our own desire to avoid confrontation.

The thing is, we usually know ahead of time whether or not a disagreement/discussion will lead to anything positive. If you know it won’t, coming into conflict with that person or persons is absolutely crazy.

The guilt, tension, and anxiety associated with avoiding conflict, in all likelihood is due to long-term conditioning that has convinced us that there is something wrong with walking away from conflict, even if a negative outcome is assured and the effort is a total waste of time. An additional tension can be felt, if you sense that someone is trying to manipulate you into fighting such a losing battle.

Sometimes, it makes sense to stand up for a belief. You will know when the time is right to do so.

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