I always panic whenever someone is away or I get sad whenever someone is away like I am with my boyfriend, he usually works because he’s trying to save up money for a new pc while also to move out to an apartment for me and him, and while I know he is out working I can’t handle worry he will be gone gone.
I also panic whenever someone “rejects” me in the sense they don’t want me around, I feel like I did wrong and they are gone and I can’t handle them being gone and I want people to stay with me.
I probably sound attention seeking but I just really can’t take when someone goes, I still get way too sad over a friend that left years ago because I hate it that they are gone, I feel alone even when I have people around me I hate that those specific people who left are gone because I want them back and with me. I can’t handle the feeling of rejection because I feel as if I ruined it and now they are gone when I want them around.
But when it’s when I do the leaving I don’t have a problem such as cutting off all contact from my ex, I simply don’t bother and don’t get sad but when people go I can’t let go, I just can’t. It’s hard for me to let go and I don’t know why. I don’t know why I am so attention seeking, I don’t know why I am always saying insanely private stuff to people to try and get them to stay after I meet them, I don’t know why I just can’t. Let. Go.