I strongly believe my neighbor is being very abused. I have called the police before but the neighbors both said nothing was wrong. I hear them every day. I don’t know what else to do.
I am starting to get a lot of anxiety and having a hard time breathing because I hear them fighting. I’m not sure how I can help.
I don’t know how to help either. Are you 100% sure they are abuse? Then, if so, you could step in yourself, but that’s too dangerous bacuase you could be caught and blamed. Or you could be hurt and targeted. And it would be tresspassing. You could send a drone to spy on them, but then if thay catch it the’d destroy it and then if they found out it was you that sent it they would get mad at you and target you and put worse pressuse on you, so I can’t think of anything and I’m so sad now becuase abuse is really a terrible thing. I don’t know what to do that isn’t too fanatstical for reality or too dangerous for you. I don’t know much about what you could do on you own that would be legal,a nd anyway I think you’d be too anxious to go to their house. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do about it. I am so very extremely sorry.
I am so sorry to hear about this situation with your neighbours. I’ve been in a similar situation years ago, which was both stressful and triggering to me. It wasn’t a situation of abuse, “just” a couple who happened to have very intense arguments. But as we never know what this kind of situation can lead to, I had to call the police multiple times. Though it’s always distressing to hear people screaming and shouting at each other. At the moment, my partner had to calm me down as it brought me to have panic attacks. So I really hope that you find ways to help you find some peace and take care of yourself as well. Breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and repeating to yourself that you are safe can be helpful in this kind of moment.
Calling the police was also the right thing to do, and the safest way to intervene - for both them and you. Regardless of what was said between the police and them, never be afraid to keep reporting the situation. With covid and lockdowns, maybe there are helplines or services to do anonymous reports as well? In different countries, there were hotlines that opened to prevent the risk of increasing domestic and child abuse. It might be worth checking that.
I know it’s a really tough situation to be in. Know that we are here for you as well, okay? You’ve been doing the right thing.
I had similar experiences – neighbors downstairs fought a lot, but denied when I knocked their door and asked if everything was ok. I thought I was hallucinating and hearing things. Finally I decided to record their fights (not recommending you do the same). I needed to prove that I was not losing my mind. Turned out they were fighting so bad and the record picked up everything. Cups, glasses, tables all got kicked or knocked down. I didn’t act on the recording, deleted it afterwards so that I knew I was ok. Moved out shortly after that, wasn’t good for my mental health.
Sorry to hear you are experiencing this.
To echo @Micro, calling the police is the safest bet, even if it feels like an overreaction. The police wouldn’t consider it an overreaction though; what you’re hearing creates Reasonable Concern. A police officer once told us at a neighborhood event: “PLEASE call if anything seems suspicious or out of place. We’d rather come and find out it’s nothing than not come out and it be something serious.”
If they can stop a domestic disturbance before it turns to domestic violence or worse, you’ve saved one of your neighbors. If domestic violence wasn’t a threat, at least you can get some peace and quiet for that night, and you’ve made the police aware of the tension in the house. If you’re in an apartment, your landlord might intervene if you record it like @Lastresort did. We had a belligerent drunk lady living near us who kept us up in the middle of the night screaming at nobody. The police were called out several times and there were A LOT of complaints to the office, but the office didn’t really grasp what was going on until someone recorded her.
Thank you! It really is sad! Hopefully someone intervenes
I really want to call again, I just don’t want it to be a target. After I called the first time, my fuel line was cut by someone. So I’m feeling hesitant but it sounds very very bad.
That was smart. I really should record it! For my mental health and for the neighbors sake.
I want to call the police again, but my fuel line was cut after I called. I don’t know who did it, but still alarming.
You should turn the recording into the police. Did you do that?
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