my mom used to hit me as a kid and I didnt think anything of it because I didnt know any better. I didnt care that it was only me and none of my siblings I just hate how even after that my sister still said I was the favorite to get what she wants. my mom stopped hitting me at one point but when she started hitting my sister is when I called the police but they didn’t do anything cuz she’s white and adopted a native american so they believed her obviously. I hate myself because I’m letting her win last night she was yelling at me and said to leave her property so I did and she usually calls the police but tonight she didn’t. I was really contemplating suicide at that point but I couldn’t leave my siblings with her. I broke my hand because I was so angry at myself for letting her keep doing this but there is nothing much I can do about it. everyone believes her. she threatened to hit me last night as well but she didn’t. I went to my neighbors house and they were awake I was gonna ask for help but I couldn’t. I waited for an hour before I went back to my house. I had to go back I cant let this keep happening. she was so angry last night because the case worker for the foster kids was coming the next day to inspect the house and she didn’t want it to look like an abusive home or whatever. she also what I consider emotionally abuses me and my sister. we constantly tell her things to try and make her proud but all she says is you can do better. never I am proud or good job. like thats why I feel all these things. she thinks its because of my birth parents but its because of her. all my foster mom does is hit and yell nothing else. there are days were I start to think she cares then she gets an idea in her head I did something wrong and then it starts all over again I try and tell people but no one listens. I just want to die at this point.
Hey @lootpixel,
I hear you. And I’m so very sorry that you’re in this situation right now. You are right: what’s going on is wrong, that’s not how it should be and you and your siblings deserve to feel safe. You don’t deserve any harm.
I hear that you feel like you have a responsability in what’s going on, but I want you to know that it’s not your fault. You didn’t cause your foster mom’s behavior and you are not allowing it in any way. You did the right thing when you called the police, even if they didn’t seem to listen.
Do you think it would be possible for you to talk to to the case worker? Or eventually to use the following helpline: https://www.childhelp.org/childhelp-hotline/ - There are potentially local resources depending on the state you are living in. There are people willing to listen and help you, friend. Not everyone is going to ignore or dismiss what you have to say. I want to encourage you to keep reaching out as you did if that is something you feel okay with. I know it is scary to take those steps and to reach out. You never asked to be in this position. But reaching out, receiving the help you need and being safe are a priority. You’ve been very brave by doing it here already and for calling the police.
Keep us up to speed on what’s going on, if you feel comfortable to do it. We - as a community - genuinely care about you.
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