Back to heartsupport

Accepting progress

I’ve been thinking about how I feel and where I am mentally and emotionally recently. It’s been hard for me to celebrate my progress because for the longest time I’m used to believing that I don’t deserve to be happy, because I’ll just be sad again. In fact, the quote from good ol’ Romeo and Juliet, “these violent delights have violent ends” was such a motto for me in life because I felt like I would be so happy and everything would seem perfect only to have things crash and burn. Rinse and repeat. I hesitated posting a progress topic here because I’d often question myself if I’m really progressing, and if it even counts as progress.

Well I told myself, even if things do go bad again, and regardless of how big or small progress looks, it is okay for me to celebrate the good. So here is my first progress post! And I’m going to bullet point a summary of what I’ve achieved in the past few months

  • Hung out with friends
  • Strengthened/improved my relationship with my family by talking to them more and spending more time with them
  • Wrote for a zine (Not my proudest piece, and I’m not really a writer, but I DID IT)
  • Started drawing again! Getting into digital art at the moment
  • Renovated my bedroom. This was huge. My old bedroom felt like a cave with an imposing loft bed that literally cast a shadow somehow onto the rest of the room. My room is more spacious and bright now!
  • Started uni again and things seem to be working out great aside from a very triggering film I was shown in class (we were given several warnings and were allowed to leave at any time)… But I’ll be okay!
  • Felt more confident about myself
  • Currently in the process with my GP in diagnosing potential ADHD and BPD

I don’t know what it is, and I don’t need to know what it is that is making me feel this way. I feel really good. I have to credit this community a lot for the kindness and support because I really believed that the world is an awful place… I felt like I’ve grown so much in the past year because of the love, support, and respect I have been given here, which I do put forward with my friends, family, even strangers. I just feel like I’m healing.

It feels like having cake. A part of me feels bad for having the cake… but at the same time, I’m just glad I have cake, and I am glad to share the cake… Again with my metaphors (:

8 Likes

From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hey Misty I’m really glad you are in the process of getting a diagnosis. I will help you so much to have the right therapy/meds combo. I really hope you don’t have BPD, but if you do I’m here if you have questions. It sounds like you are doing pretty good! I’m impressed that you renovated your bedroom, it sounds like fun. ~Mystrose

5 Likes

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Misty! Thank you for such an uplifting post about your progress! It’s wonderful you are doing so good and I definitely think you should enjoy your cake. Even if it disappears at some point at least you had your cake and got to enjoy it while you could. I’m really glad you are choosing to embrace the good regardless of how long it lasts and I hope it continues to last. If you ever feel like sharing some of your art here I think we would love to see it.
Keep enjoying life :hrtlegolove:

3 Likes

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Misty, Thank you so much for your post it
is so good to hear how you have progressed over the last year and I am really proud of you for that, I am also grateful for this awesome update because not only does it point out to you what you have accomplished but it gives others hope also, others that have just started out on their journey of hope. Of course there are always fears that negative things will again get the better of you and that bad times will once again resurface and yes they probably will because no road perfectly flat and without its bumps but hopefully you will be better prepared for the next bump and in the meantime enjoy these wonderful moments as you have earned them and you deserve them and again thank you. Much Love Lisa x

3 Likes

From: SuchBlue

Hi misty,

You’ve done a lot, and you should be proud of yourself for that. We also like cake too, welcome to CakeSupport :joy:
I hope you don’t have ADHD or BPD, but even if you do get diagnosed for it, that’s okay and I believe that you’ll still be able to enjoy your life :slightly_smiling_face:
No matter how long you feel good about yourself, you should still enjoy that time and it will make up for when you’re having a worse time. Progress is progress and we’re glad to see it!

Live your life while it lasts and keep it up! :hrtlegolove:

4 Likes

There’s so many things in your post. I’m truly amazed and blown away by you, @misty. Not only you manage to identify real progress and strengths, but also you have this incredibly thoughtful way to approach it - it may not be perfect, but we know that growth is not a glorious path all the time.

Your progress is amazing and you are truly beautiful in your humanity. With your strengths and cracks, and all this harmony you’ve been experiencing more and more in your heart.

Well done, friend. :hrtlegolove:

PS - I think you’ve inspired me to consider reflecting on my own progress soon. It’s a scary step. Thank you for sharing and for the impact that your words will have on all the ones who have the chance to read it.

1 Like