Addiction

My little brother is addicted to drugs. He has been since he was 17. His life has been a living hell pretty much his entire life. I have completely failed as an older brother. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me the most. And now im at a loss of what is even possible for me do. And year by year i just get worse.

I wish so badly i just dragged him out of that stuff and took care of him the way a brother should. But i was so fucking selfish chasing girls and hanging out with fucking losers i dont even talk to anymore.

Im fucking pathetic man.

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Hiya, @dejames :people_hugging:

Before I start my initial reply, welcome to HeartSupport! Hopefully you enjoy your time within this lovely community.

First, let’s talk validation. Everything you’ve written, everything you feel is 100% valid. You’ve confronted a difficult and painful reality, which takes bravery and a lot of courage. Your care for your brother runs deep, and I feel this with your words. This alone speaks volumes to the kind of person you are, or would like to be. Well done for reaching out here, as I know it’s not easy!

Addiction is one of the most complex and challenging issues to navigate. This is just as true for your brother as it is for you. The loved ones are just as part of an addiction as the person who has it. It’s not easy to witness someone you care about being sucked into the evil/cruelwrath of addiction, especially when it’s your own flesh and blood. I can only imagine the weight of guilt and responsibility you must be carrying on your shoulders right now, but please know that you are not alone in this.

Your brother being addicted to drugs, doesn’t make him or you any less of a person. You cannot define yourself by your brother’s struggles, nor are you solely accountable for his well-being. It’s natural to feel regret for the past, but dwelling on what you could have done differently will only weigh you down further. Instead, I encourage you to focus on the present and the future.

You may feel like you’ve failed your brother, but it’s never too late to make a positive impact in his life. Your love and support can be a powerful force in his journey towards recovery. Start by reaching out to him, letting him know that you’re there for him, unconditionally. Listen to him without judgment, and offer whatever assistance you can, whether it’s helping him find treatment options, attending support groups together, or simply being a shoulder to lean on.

It’s also crucial to prioritize your own well-being throughout this process. Supporting someone with addiction can be emotionally draining, and it’s essential to take care of yourself so that you can continue to be a source of strength for your brother. Don’t hesitate to seek out therapy or support groups for yourself, where you can find guidance and solace from others who understand what you’re going through.

Ultimately, this addiction is a journey, just like recovery will be too. Relapses and sober streaks will be lost, but it’s important to make the small wins count. Now is your opportunity to be your brother’s biggest cheerleader. He needs support behind him, otherwise from somebody who has been addicted, his recovery will make his life a living hell. Celebrate the small victories, and be patient with both yourself and your brother. Healing takes time, but with perseverance and unwavering love, it is possible.

Lastly, I want you to know that you are not “fucking pathetic.” You are a human being grappling with a difficult situation, and you are doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and keep moving forward with compassion and determination.

You have the power to make a difference in your brother’s life, and that alone is a testament to your strength and resilience.

With enormous love :hugs:
EvilGenius :orange_heart:

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