Advice on not feeling worthy?

I’ve been preaching “every human is worthy” my whole life. It is something I really believe in. But when it comes to me, I feel like I’m an exception. Sometimes, I say I’m not worthy of eating, not worthy of being in a relationship, not worthy of being loved. I know this isn’t true, and I know so many others have this same, crushing view about themselves.

Tonight, I’m feeling it extra. Lately I’ve just been going lower and lower, getting worse and worse. I suppose I need advice coping with not feeling worthy, or advice on how to feel worthy.

In case anyone can give me specific advice, there are many things that make me feel unworthy, but one is for some reason more impactful tonight. I cannot work, due to mental illness. This makes me feel worthless because I can’t help my mom financially. I do sell art occasionally, but very rarely. I’m also feeling really lonely tonight.

I hope one of you can give me some tips for when I’m feeling worthless. How do I cope, and how do I overcome?

(And now I’ve said “worthy” in my head so many times it doesn’t sound like a real word… so I’m sorry if some of this doesn’t make sense lol :sweat_smile:.)

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How do you explain to others why they are worthy? Should anyone’s worth based solely on the income they generate? Is everyone who is disabled worthless? My impression is that you’re frustrated with yourself due to unmet expectations. You may be preoccupied with undeserved self-blame related to your disability.

Elements of human worth are:
Empathy and compassion,
The ability to share experience and wisdom,
Helping others feel needed, by allowing them to help you,
The ability to help others feel their own self worth,
Sharing humor and laughter, among other talents that are unique to each person.

Specific advice: Treat yourself as you would treat others. Be aware that the greatest skill in encouraging and caring for others is attained through a decent level of self-love and acceptance. In the absence of self-love, a person can’t easily sense what another person needs in order for them to feel self-worth and acceptance.

You care about others, and you’ve helped them as well. That alone establishes evidence of your worth.

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Hi @weathergirl

I’m so very sorry you were having such a low time yesterday. I have been there and I know sometimes we can be our worst critic and bully. I know you are amazing just by being who you are. I think the feelings of insufficiency and lesser worth can be our internal critic driving us to do or be better. But it’s ok that sometimes we can’t perform our best. Would you judge someone else’s worth how you are judging yourself lately?

It is really isolating and lonesome to feel so low, but please know we have all been there at some point and it can be so tough to pick ourselves up from that moment. But truly you do have value in this life. You do not have to produce something measurable to be worthwhile as a person. Your kindness and care for others is a treasure.

Maybe this week find one thing to do extra nice for yourself. Some examples: manicure and pedicure at home, deep conditioning your hair, learn a new technique in art, learn a new recipe, etc. It doesn’t need to be big, but just something to invest in yourself. It can be tough when you are a very selfless person to do this, but in this case I think it warrants a little self care.

Maybe think about your personal goals for this week or next couple weeks.
Set a goal that is small and achievable as a start? Like my goal this last month has been to pack a home made lunch 2x a week. This saves me some money and is an achievable goal for me. I feel good that I met this goal and I can keep up with this routine now. Maybe something like this could help you have a sense of accomplishment and help with stretch goals?

Just some thoughts and ideas for you, but anyways this is getting longer than I intended, wishing you a better upcoming week <3 Mish

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From: twixremix

hi friend,

thank you for sharing this update and taking the time to write out how things are going for you. i appreciate you being here and letting us in to offer the advice, support, and encouragement you need at this time. my personal advice for when i’ve been in your shoes is to think outside of yourself for a second. if you were reading your post from an outsider’s perspective, what would you want them to say back to you? one of the strengths being in this community is how i can more easily dust myself off when the going gets rough because i would feel like a hypocrite if i don’t take the same words, advice, and love i share to others and apply it to myself. hypocrite is a harsh word i guess but sometimes i need that tough love to snap me back to reality, ya know? since you believe every human is worthy, which is awesome, i hope you can distance yourself from your situation temporarily and look upon it as if you were me responding to this post, wanting nothing but to bring you love, support, and comfort because you deserve it and are worth it!

love,
twix

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I’m sorry you are feeling worthless and alone. Those are things I struggle with as well. One thing that has been helping me is volunteering for Heart Support and helping to support people here on the wall. It makes me feel good to help support people here and I’ve made some really good friends too. I’m disabled, so this helps me keep busy and have a purpose as well. Take care! ~Mystrose

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“Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.”

Hello there,

Oh boy…I can relate to this. For me, it helps to get out & about as much as I can & get involved with something that I have some interest in. With your art, maybe you can find a community to meet up with & chat & be artistic. With finding work, could a work-from-home type of job be an option for you? I enjoyed the years that I worked from home because I could create my schedule & work as much or as little as I needed to work.

We are our own worst critics. I am so proud of you for reaching out for love & support. You are an amazing person. Thank you for being a part of this world. You are strong. You are valid. You are WORTHY! You are important. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you so much for your post, I read your post and it makes me so sad to hear you being so very hard on yourself, I then googled the word worthless, I know what it means of course but I wanted the exact meaning “no real value or use” I know this isnt true either not by any stretch of the imagination, You have an amazing amount of value in this life and I never want you to forget that. I hear you when you talk of your struggles with mental illness and how it is affecting work and your home life, finances and responsabilitlies and that indeed must be very hard but none of this is your fault, you never chose this, you never caused this. I don’t know what is available to you where you live, I am in the UK, here we have training courses for getting people with mental health problems back to work or of course there are benefits and allowences if you cannot work, it would certainly be worth looking in all aspects of these things where you live, its not easy I know but the most important thing is to know that you are worthy of all that is good, you are valued and a very special person. I wish you luck. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x

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Hey Weathergirl,

It seems like you know you absolutely have worth, and that you are a champion of letting others know that. I am sorry to hear that you are going through a down phase right now, and that you’re having trouble with getting your mind to accept that fact as well. Thank you for coming here and sharing that with us, and trusting us enough to talk with you about it.

Getting your mind to accept what you already know is true can be tricky when it comes to emotions. You know you have absolute worth. Don’t be afraid to reflect on your positive traits and accomplishments. You are working to help our your family as you can. You give your time and energy to help them, as well as use your creative outlets to do so. Keep going through those good actions, deeds, traits, and skills you have in your mind. Brag on yourself, to yourself. It isn’t selfish. If your emotions want to bring you down, then throw those amazing traits of yours back in their face. Overwhelm those negative thoughts with what you KNOW is true about yourself.

You have worth. You have value. You are loved.

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, weathergirl! Sometimes it can be so easy to encourage others and tell them things we know we should listen to as well but then our brains refuse to accept the same advice. I know I’ve been there before.

So I’m going to go ahead and tell you to accept your own advice. And accept that you are worthy. Because you do matter.

I have a bit of specific advice regarding your work situation. What about your mental health prevents you from getting a job? If you live in a smaller town I know options are more limited but in my experience there are soooo many different jobs out there that there is usually something for everyone no matter what limitations you feel like you have or you may actually have. Even if you are agoraphobic and cannot leave the house you can find online jobs. What kind of art do you do? Have you done any digital art that you could sell on a website like DeviantArt or Etsy?

I think you should make yourself a piece of art to help with your feelings of worthlessness. Make yourself something straight from your soul and hang it up. When you are feeling worthless look at it and know that that is the true you and that you are capable of making something amazing.

Have you ever watching HeartSupport’s twitch stream? They stream themselves making art sometimes and there is a large community of people to talk to while you watch. It may be a way to feel less alone and more connected to people who can understand your struggles. twitch.tv/heartsupport I hope to see you around there some.

I believe in you and I think you will do amazing things in this world. Keep up with your art and keep seeing worthy as a real word :hrtlegolove:
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Hey @weathergirl

Thank you for sharing and feeling comfortable enough to tell us a part of your story.

I completely understand the feeling of not being worthy, and for some of us, it can be derived from feelings we had or experiences when we were much younger that guide us our whole lives without us knowing. Mental illnesses can be frightening but I hope you know that you are never alone in this battle.

In regards to specifically coping, what do you do for yourself? It sounds like you like art, which is amazing, since I am very not creative haha! Maybe you should use that medium and then do it for just you - no need to show anyone, sell it, just draw because @weathergirl likes to draw!

My dad was going through financial hardships over the last few years, and I felt the same thing you did. I still struggle with this idea, but at the same time, you need to be there for yourself before you can help your mom, which is sooo much easier said than done, but it all starts by looking at what you need, what you want, and creating a schedule with goals to create a balance.

I hope that this was somewhat helpful and provided some guidance on how to move forward. Wishing you all the best! :heart:

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This. I needed exactly this. :sparkling_heart:

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Thank you for your response, I will absolutely be trying this. Thank you :sparkling_heart:

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:woman_artist: glad to hear chica! How’s this week going so far?

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