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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Wrong Side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch
After watching your video, I’ll say this. That song breaks me wide open anytime I hear it. I just bust out into tears. I can’t even listen to it anymore. I lost 4 friends while I was in Iraq for a year. I spent 8 years in the Army. The only things that we really know as combat vets is 1. that we want to avoid. A lot! Avoid the things that bring us pain and 2. We feel like we can only count on each other. It’s a matter of trust because we have all spilled the same blood in the same mud. My ex wife divorced me after I came back from Iraq. The son I had with her I haven’t seen since he was 2 weeks old. He was born on September 17th 2009. When we all came back from Iraq, everyone had families to come home to. I was alone. I had no one. Not even my parents. No one. It was the loneliest I had ever felt. I’ve been in patient for PTSD and alcohol abuse 5 times in the past. I’m not homeless and remarried now but for us, relationships are really really hard to make work forever. Even today, I isolate a lot. I don’t like people. I don’t trust people. I’m angry a lot. Resentful of my government. Most veterans with combat experience probably feel in similar ways. Life never got better after the war for me. It got worse. I wanted to go back in but I was medically discharged and now I’m 100% disabled in the VA system. Just a little insight to my experience. I’m sure other vets have had similar experiences if they are even willing to talk about it which most aren’t. All the prolonged exposure therapy made it a bit easier for me. That’s all.
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Hey friend.
Thank you so much for being willing to talk about such a difficult topic. It helps someone like myself, who hasnt experienced any of this, to better understand what you’ve gone through.
You mentioned your time in Iraq and losing 4 of your close friends. When you came home, you came home to nobody, which means that your wife left you while you were stationed I would assume? And on top of that, you’re living with PTSD and have had to be treated for alcohol dependence before.
I am so sorry friend.
You mentioned being angry at the government. May I ask why that is? Is it lack of support to those coming home? Or the things demanded of you while you were away? Or something else?
I read an interview where the guitarist for Five Finger says that a lot of the song is sort of also about how you do some pretty horrible things because youre told that youre suppose to. And you start to question if you’re doing things for the wrong reasons. Which sounds like a devastating position to be in, emotionally.
I have a friend that volunteers in his local town and county to help those who used to serve and to help his community. Do you think anything like that would help you to feel better or like you can still make a difference?
Thank you so much for posting and for giving us a piece of yourself. I am incredibly proud of you and will work to keep you in my thoughts, friend.
Hold fast.
@@HeartSupport Yeah when I came back from Iraq, my wife at the time was in the process of leaving me. We were separated and I wasn’t that close with my parents and the rest of my family. Eventually one of my battle buddies from my company invited me to stay at his house for awhile until I figured things out. But the drinking and rage fits started pretty much the next day. My NCO’s forced me to go to treatment by giving me an ultimatum of treatment or article 15 with forfeit of pay and rank for 6 months so naturally treatment sounded wonderful LOL.
I feel angry at the government frequently even today for several reasons. As a combat veteran it’s harder because of the things we have had to do. Not only because we were ordered to, but because it was the only way you could survive and come out alive. When you begin to realize that war is an economic stabilizer, then it’s apparent that war is more about money and power than freedom, and I’m angry because I watched good men with lives and families die for that. I wouldn’t trade 5000 politicians and power over the whole world in exchange for any of my friends that lost their lives to the war in Iraq. They were worth so much more. They deserved so much more. Most wars nowadays shouldn’t happen at all. It’s unnecessary. Hell, the last time we fought for real freedom was the Revolutionary war and we weren’t even an established Nation yet. So yes, it’s tough to deal with.
I go and talk to a professional at the VA each week. They monitor my progress and it helps a bit but PTSD from combat never gets better or goes away. You just learn ways to get better at living with it I guess. It can really suck the joy out of life sometimes terribly. Every day is different but it’s never easy. Or as the guys on the team I was attached to in Iraq used to say, “The only easy day was yesterday”.
@DyllonKG