My whole life I have felt less than everyone else. Whether it be deserving of happiness or finding a person who placed me first as I have placed them. I have decimated relationships and hurt so many people that I hate myself for it.
You not less than anyone, everyone in this life makes mistake and hurt people, but that being human, there no way around it. In addition you do not need to hate self, it okay upset with yourself. But understand that you like everyone else and you are important too.
I don’t know you, but I do know that you are deserving of love and you do matter!
I relate to what you’re feeling so strongly. I have spent most of my life trying to understand what made me undeserving of the unconditional love of another person. Just recently, I finally decided that I was going to love myself. I stopped searching for the love and acceptance I was so desperate for and became my own support system. It can be so hard to overcome loneliness and to rebuild a sense of self worth, but if you try you’re best to be you’re best nothing and no one can stand in your way. You will find that the more you love, respect, and value yourself, the more other will be naturally drawn to do the same.
Even if you’ve hurt people before, you are not less than anyone else. You are a human being, just like all of us. We all make mistakes or do things we regret after. But we’re also all learning how to deal with this complicated thing called life. Acknowledging your past mistakes, even if it’s difficult, is in fact a proof of humility. It’s the first step that can allow you to learn from it and not do the same. But the conclusion of this isn’t that you wouldn’t be worth to be happpy. You are loved and you deserve to feel it.
Hold fast, friend.