No matter how hard I try I stay in the second place.
Its okay to try for first, but second is okay, too. I’m not sure what this is about, but if you would like to share more, I’d love to try and bring you some encouragement in this time. Hang in there, and keep striving for the best. You matter.
As one that has suffered from the depths of PTSD hell as a Marine combat veteran, PUSH FORWARD. There is an end, there is reason, there is hope, and people fucking love you whether you see it or not. Stay strong.