I often feel like nothing I will ever do matters and that I will matter or achieve anything
It sounds like you’re really discouraged right now, so I really want to highlight the fact that our thoughts can be really tricky sometimes. Your feelings are valid and legitimate, but I really want you to try to think about it from a different perspective. We don’t know what to expect from the future, and it’s quite normal to be worried about it. We all struggle with that kind of thought from time to time, but it can be really harmful and prevent you to take the actions you want. And you definitely don’t deserve this. What you do matters and YOU matter.
I’m pretty sure you already achieved different things in your life, but it can be difficult to acknowledge it, especially when we struggle with self-confidence. You are a unique person in this world! You’ve got plenty of qualities and nothing is carved in stone. Sometimes, when I struggle with pessimism or worries about the future, I find it helpful to write down what’s really stressing me, so I can realize that most of it isn’t based on something real/tangible. When you identify precisely what’s making you feel defeated, you can start to think about how to improve the situation, step by step.
it’s so tough to feel like your existence is inconsequential :\ to feel like no one even knows the difference if you’re awake or asleep, trying or not, doing something good or bad…you’re just…invisible, unnoticeable, so unimportant that even if someone saw you it wouldn’t even matter.
it’s a terribly lonely feeling…
I remember feeling similarly in my life. Feeling like there’s never going to be a day where I make it, never going to be a day where I finally prove I’m enough, never going to be a day where I’m finally worthy of being loved…every day felt like this dwindling sense of hope that that could be possible and this growing sense of hopelessness that I’d always be alone, always be inadequate.
You’re certainly not alone in what you’re feeling, and if you’re not alone, maybe there’s hope that what you’re feeling has an end…and that you truly do matter.
I believe it’s true for us both.
Just look around you. The people that you have helped just with small acts of kindness. You are more valuable than you realize
I can relate to these feelings. There are often times where it just feels like what I do is not enough. It can feel discouraging and deflating. I get that. But you know what, you matter. And what you do matters. Sometimes when we have big tasks or responsibilities that we need to face it can feel overwhelming and impossible. It can feel like no matter the steps we take that the end point always feel out of reach and far out.
I encourage you to make small goals. Sometimes we need to just step back and make small reasonable goals that can help us reach the bigger goal. Take it one step at a time.
I have also found that I often over stress things that are out of my control. Adding even more needless stress to my plate. Try to focus on the things you CAN control and work through those. Work through the most important things and the most accessible. Get through those. It makes a huge difference.
Here’s a video for you. The Wall
Friend, I hope things get better for you. That you find strength to keep going and push through these feelings. Know that you are loved and cared for here and always welcome to come talk to us if you need. Im sending you so much love.