I haven’t been able to go to school since Monday, due to my mental health being very, very low again. My friend texted me yesterday evening around 10pm, to send them some data for school. Usually? No problem. But from home, I don’t have access to the data they want. Now they’re mad at me. And I just now had a fight about that with my mom too. She doesn’t understand what I can’t get mad at that person back. I don’t understand it either, but I just can’t. And now I’m scared my mom is mad at me too. I don’t wanna be here anymore. All I do is fuck shit up and make every one disappointment or mad. I originally planned on trying to go back to school tomorrow, because I have an exam. But now I really don’t know if I can anymore. I just wanna get away from this life.
Hey friend,
I’m sorry you feel like no matter what you do or say, you only make others mad or upset. It’s so uncomfortable to feel like we can’t do anything right and we need to be careful about everything. This situation is not your fault though. Not having access to this data is out of your control and it would be unfair to judge you for that. I understand that this probably feels like another reason to feel like crap while you’re already low and trying to take some time for yourself. But it’s really not your fault, friend. And it’s also okay to need a break. It’s actually really wise to try to rest and recharge when you need it.
Whether you go back to school tomorrow or not, know that we’re proud of you here. I see you. I see the efforts you’re continuously taking for your mental health. Please take good care of yourself. 
Just as I was about to make a discussion about how my presence was nothing but a burden, and I do nothing but make people feel bad, I saw this… it seems you feel the same way…
but just because people are angry at you doesn’t mean they don’t want you to be in their life at all.
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