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All my friends keep dying


#1

It’s been 8 years since it truly started. 8 years ago my best friend Scott took is own life. It broke me pretty hard as I never saw any signs.

5 years ago, my other friend died in a motorcycle accident. I didn’t even find out about it until a week after it happened and after the funeral. I just felt even more like shit about it because of that.

2 years ago in November. My fiance passed away. this is where I was at my weakest and didn’t think it couldn’t get any worse for me. 2 months later, my other best friend took his own life.

not a day goes by that I don’t think of any of them and I have my good days and my bad days. Today was a bad day. I’m afraid to meet new people and go out and do things due to not wanting to go through this anymore. I’m not suicidal by any means, but I’m sad all the time and I don’t know what to do to not be…


#2

@Kong

I’m sorry for your losses. Death is heavy subject to talk about. It’s scary. We don’t know when our final day comes. I mourn some of my loved ones who passed away. Even my past pets. I am truly scare if more loved ones will be gone. That’s why I am doing my best to contact them. I miss them. But I have to accept reality. We will die. I know I am not living the best life. I have regrets. However, I know I am loved. Everyone I know is loved. So are you. Take your time to get better. You will get through this. I’ll send my condolences to you. Thank you for sharing your pain with the community.


#3

@Kong first off thank you so so much for being brave to share all of this with us. I am so sorry that so much loss has happened in your life. That is hard to deal with. I personally havent dealt with much loss that was that close and dear to me like this but I have dealt with loss in other ways. I have to say though that the biggest thing is that those people would not want you to stop living life because they are gone. I am sure of that honestly. All of the people if they were the ones replying right now would say DONT stop living because we are gone. I know that is so much easier said than done. Again it is hard loss is a battle that I hate myself to fight. I remember loosing my great grandmother and crying hard because it felt like someone I deeply cared about was so gone. I was young than. I have also lost people in ways that isnt through death and each time it feels like a part of me went with them but deep down they would want me to pick myself up and go find people to try again with. Dont let what has happened stop you I know fear sets in like what if this all happens again. Or the idea that is it me linking all of this but it is not that is anxiety talking. Sometimes we just need to say I WILL NOT let my mind tell me what is true and what is not true.

I hope that a little of that helps. I hope that you know you are loved here. Please let us know how you are doing. Take each day one step at a time.

Hold fast
Disabledmetalfan (ash)


#4

That is so incredibly hard. It’s never easy to lose loved ones. And I’m so sorry for all of those who you have lost. I hope that you have many good memories with them to remember them by and photos. So that you can always hold them so close to your heart and look back on all of those good times.

I know pastors and therapists can be such a huge help to the healing and grieving process. I’ve had someone in my family pass that I’m still trying to learn how to mourn and handle. It never goes completely away, but over time we learn how to better emotionally push through it.

I’m sending you so much love for you and the loved ones you’ve lost.


#5

@DearKoyangi @disabledmetalfan

Thank you all for the support. I know that one day the sadness will be over and I’m glad I was able to get this off my chest and finally tell a community about it. I truly appreciate the support from the bottom of my heart. I wish nothing but good things for all of you and If you ever need anything, I am here for you as you have been for me


#6

@AVJR

I can only add 2 people per post, but above is for you as well