As i’m writing this i am 2 months clean from what i thought was real marijuana that i smoked for 3 days straight. The 3rd day i overdid it and it made me experience evil things its hard for me to even talk or write about it my anxiety builds up alot. I trusted the person who gave the drug to me and i’m ashamed of why they did this to me they are now out of my life they were disguised and evil. When i was on that drug i saw evil things and i blacked out alot and almost died about 5 times i woke up the next day after everything happened and got help at a local hospital i freaked out and cried when the test said " Synthetic marijuana drug abuse". I sometimes feel like what i did was wrong alot and i can’t believe i did that to myself, im happy and thankful im still alive. I just wanna feel like the old happy me again i just deal with anxiety from what happened almost everyday and somedays i feel fine. I just wanna also say you all have a reason to be here and there is a heaven and hell i believe in paradise now after what happened and no one should feel the need to end their life at all yall have to be strong and keep fighting. I promise to all of you im going to stay drug free and help others.
What happened to you and what you are feeling as a result of those experiences - it is all valid. And I can imagine that after that, there would be lingering anxiety. But I want you to know, that I am happy for you that you have been able to grow and stay clean and I am happy you are here with us.
Josiah, what a crazy experience. You definitely are not to blame. You made the best choice in the moment with the information you had. If you knew it would have done this to you, you wouldn’t have chosen it. But you are doing the best with what you have NOW, by choosing to fight to live a clean lifestyle and use it as a reason to fuel your purpose. You’re not crazy, you’re not stupid. You’re fighting to make the best choices you can, and I believe you are doing that.
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