Back to heartsupport

Alone and scared

I know I’m probably not alone in this but it feels like in the only one around me struggling with this. I feel alone in life. Everyone around me is going on dates and finding love but I’m not. At all. I’ve been single for the past 6 years. It was with a girl I really liked and then she cheated on me. I just feel like I’m never going to find someone I like as I like her again. The only other person I’ve like since was dating my best friend and even though both she and I felt a connection it just didnt work. I just feel like itll never end. Every girl will have some reason we cant be togather and any other girl just isnt right. Maybe somone else has felt this but I’ve just been feeling terrible about my life. Thanks for your time with reading this.

2 Likes

Livingyetdoubting,

You are certainly not alone in this - relationships are complicated! Finding love is complicated and messy. Dating is hard… without a doubt.

It sounds like you’ve been dealing with the loss of your first relationship and maybe never really let that go. Rightly so, the loss of something like that so rapidly, so traumatically, is hard to move on from. Finding yourself is also really important. What are you looking for, who are you - what do you feel is important too… Heal and then move on.

If you are looking for someone sometimes it’s best just to let it happen. Go to places where other people might be. You have to go out and live your life and do what you love to do to find like-minded people and the connections will eventually come.

Every woman you meet cannot be a fishing expedition! Meet lots of people and hope you end up with a connection somewhere. If you’re trying to tick a box for a love connection then you’re missing the value of some potential great friends!

Keep it up - you’ll get there. Love is messy, as is life. <3

We picked your post tonight as part of my #mentalhealthmonday #gametherapy stream. Please drop on by or respond to this post and we’ll address it as the week wears on.

Much luck friend,
DrDyaus and community

2 Likes

@Livingyetdoubting

This loneliness that you describe makes sense and it can be so heavy sometimes. You’re definitely not alone friend.

It is hard to grieve a relationship that was meaningful to you, and it takes time. When you shared this level of closeness with someone, it’s absolutely normal to feel like you won’t ever find the same again. It sounds that you’re still in this healing process. But I’d like to encourage you not to compare your past relationships and those you can have in the future. Otherwise you won’t ever find someone who would fulfill your heart with the love that you need. Because yes: it will never be the same. You won’t love someone else like you did before. But it is not a matter of intensity/level of closeness that you can have with someone. And it is not because you wouldn’t be able to find the person you’re looking for. Only because every relationship is unique and different. What you lived before is now part of your past, your personal story. And that’s okay.

I really hope that you’ll find someone, even though we can’t predict that. And I’m sorry you feel terrible right now. Please don’t forget that even if you’re not in a relationship for the moment, it doesn’t mean that you’re worthless or something would be wrong with you or your life.

Hold fast. :heart: