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Alone and selfish

I went to different high schools and never made too many friends. I didn’t fit in. I have kept four major friends together, but mostly I just keep it to myself. I made friends on facebook and made 83 friends from my first school and made 50 friends from my second school. I hang out with two of them most of the time, but I still feel like I don’t have enough friends or want more friends. I also hung out with my step brother and made some friends there at his school, but never really hung out witth them. I see most of my friends have 400 or up to 900 or even 1,000 friends and wonder how can I get moe friends. I haven’t hung out with them in months or 2 months at a time and still fell like I want to hang out with them but, it doesn’t feel like we would hang out. I want to make more friends, and I did when I was working I made 40 friends, but again I wouildn’t hang out with them. I made 304 friends on facebook,but it feels like I don’t have a whole ton of friends and I want to hang out with them, but I don’t know if they would want to hang out with me back.

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I do not think you are being selfish. What this really seems like to me is you do not have the right type of friends. It’s as if you need that “right friend” that’ll hear you out when you need them to and someone who can make time to hang with you. But that is also a two way street. I know high school feels like you need to have that many friends, but truth is popularity is overrated. You need to focus on having a true friend and not a ton of friends, in your adult years you’ll see that you’ll have less and less friends, but only the true ones will still be around. I have 141 friends on facebook, but I only really talk to 1 friend from high school, my children’s father, and my sister. Those are the people in my life who truly listen (well besides my therapist lol). And I am content with that…mostly. So don’t look for more friends because you won’t be able to keep up with them all because you’re human and only one person. Find your true friends. Try to get to know some people and see if they are interested in trying to get to know you as well and you will find your people.

Hold fast my friend.

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I remember seating alone eating lunch in high school listening to music, and in the hall ways I would listen to music to keep me from getting distrated from scool. but yea having true friends is better then having no friends. I started going to concerts and seeing my favorite bands like agust burns red, the ghost inside, simple plan, new found glory, sum 41, the plot in you, real friends, beartoth, i prevail, and stuff like that. I also have 304 friends total so it’s hard to keep adding more if they aren’t really friends with me in real life.

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the first school I was in I got picked on and made fun of for having special needs requierment for high school. then I got pulled out of that school and moved to the second school and just got called lil nikki for the most.

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Hey @DunneMJ616,

I’m sorry to hear that people made fun of you before. Having special needs is just how it is and there is nothing wrong with it. Sometimes people prefer to make fun of someone instead of discussing, discussing, and understanding. It’s unfortunate… but it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.

It’s definitely not selfish to want to have friends and break this feeling of being alone. On Facebook - and social media in general - it’s easy to compare our situation to others and feel overwhelmed. It’s almost like a showcase where popularity holds too much importance and becomes a race. Sometimes it feels like there’s this kind of pressure for socializing and, to some extent, feeling loved? Though you don’t need to have hundreds of friends to feel loved and cared for. Only to meet the right people. People who will truly learn to know you and respect you. Your time is not illimited, and you will learn to share it with the right people. Quality over quantity, right?

Know that you are loved. You matter. You deserve the best. And you’ll always be among friends here. :hrtlegolove: