Alone and tired

I’m almost 30 I’ve never had a girlfriend I’ve never had any sort of romantic relationship, and now it seems like I’m gonna be alone forever. I dont know what I did wrong in this life to deserve this, but I can’t take it I just don’t want to exist anymore whats the point if I’m all alone?

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Hey @anon78643377,

It’s good to see you.

Loneliness is a terrible experience for any human being. Somehow we need to love and feel loved. We crave for connections. It’s part of what makes us feel alive, part of this world, and overall to develop a sense of belonging.

I’m so very sorry that you’ve been feeling alone lately. I also understand why you would ask yourself if you did something to deserve this. When things are out of our control, when we can’t find any answer to a “why” question, we’re tempted to find a reason within ourselves. But that’s also when shame, guilt and unfair perceptions of ourselves are developped.

Relationships are complex, made of opportunities we partially control, but not entirely. There is a part of mystery in those. At best, you can put yourself out there, seek connections, socialize, but there’s also a part you don’t control when it’s about meeting the right person for you. What is sure though, is that this is not about being doomed or cursed. Your past experiences don’t define your future. It’s not because you’re almost 30 and never had a romantic relationship that you will never have any. For sure, for most people, finding their significant other happen before 30. But that’s far from being the case for everyone. And how many divorce or go through a separation before their 30s as well? Each journey is different, friend. And the fact that your life has been a certain way until now regarding your relationships doesn’t mean it’s going to be forever. We can’t predict the future, but we can certainly control what we do in the present moment. So, what are the steps you could take in the future in order to put yourself out there, seek connections,a nd eventually find a partner? What are the possibilities you would like to consider Are you into dating apps and events? Do you have hoobies and interests that could be a first way to socialize with others and expand your social connections?

It makes sense to wonder what’s the point if you’re only going to be alone for the rest of our life. If I was offered this perspective, I’d probably crawl in, hide, and want to disappear too. But that statement: I’m going to be alone forever, isn’t true. It’s not a prediction. It’s not grounded in anything tangible. Because your current experience can always be transformed,as life is continuously going on and changing. So, what are the changes you would like to make in your life? And which steps could you take to aim for those goals?

I want to encourage you to take some time to reflect on these questions. You’ve stated something important: the situation right now isn’t fulfillling for you. So now might be a good time to start thinking about ways to change it. And even if you tried in the past, then to keep those experiences as well and learn from them too.

You are not doomed to be alone for the rest of your life, friend. There is more than this. :hrtlegolove:

Nothing I do changes anything for me it all just leads to the same place I’m to socially inept and to go out to bars and stuff let alone I don’t even have a car or a license to go anywhere I should have never been born also how can I change being unattractive I can’t just force my body to change it’s shape

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