Alone on my Anniversary

[voiceless_wonder]

i’m feeling bad again today. this whole week has been crap. i’ve found more bald spots on my head. i found out that this could go on for months up to a year. and to top it all off, i’m alone on my freaking 6 year anniversary… i’m not mad at my husband. he’s done nothing wrong. I just didn’t think i’d spend this day… our day… alone… in the middle of self-loathing… i hate myself … everything about myself. i don’t want to hate myself but i don’t know what to do anymore. my husband doesn’t understand that i can’t just change this … i can’t stop being afraid, i can’t stop hating myself… i’ve been this way for so long… I want to… i really want to change… i hate feeling this way… it’s exhausting. i could use some prayers please.

[Wings]

Prayers coming your way.

[Megs]

Hi @voiceless_wonder

Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry this week has been hard and that it’s your 6 year anniversary. That is really hard. But I would like to wish you and your husband a happy anniversary.

Again, I am so sorry that you are spending your special day away from your husband. Maybe you can set aside a day this week or weekend just to spend it together? Maybe make his favorite dinner, or do something together that you love to do (that allows for covid restrictions of course).

I am sorry that you are not liking yourself right now. It’s so hard to be in that place. Is there something you can do today just for yourself? I know it sounds selfish but it’s good to give yourself some attention too. I always like to take a bubble bath, read a book, or paint my toe nails. What do you like to do that is pampering or something you don’t do often but always like to do?

I am praying for you. Praying for your husband.

Thank you again for sharing. Let us know how you are doing. Keep looking up, looking for the good in the day.

We love and care for you,
Megs

[voiceless_wonder]

Thank you everyone for your replies. The night ended better after my husband came home. It seems like last week was very difficult with everything that had been going on.

After taking time to talk to a few people, seeing my church family on sunday, and looking up more information about my health conditions I feel a little better. It’s hard for me to think about myself and take care of myself because I’d rather think of ways to help others before my own. And though it can be bad, it can be to the point that my health physical or mental comes last. But I’m discovering my true worth isn’t always what my mind perceives and it’s not in the eyes of my enemies. It’s always a good refresher to see myself the way my loved ones do.

I’m so ready to finally be over this covid crap. I’m tired of being sick physically and mentally. I want to be better and stay better. And I want to so that I can help others along the way. Again, thank you for all the prayers and replies. I really appreciate every single one!