Always depressed, on medication and still won’t go away

I haven’t posted in almost a year and I just got diagnosed about 9 months ago. Just that feeling of hopelessness keeps coming back. I was talking to a friend and apparently she didn’t like how I told her about what I struggle with so I lost a friend. I just keep thinking I’m poison to others because I bring nothing but my problems into their lives. The thought of alcohol and drug use goes back into my head. I need help.

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You’re not poison. I’m glad you’re here.

I’m a recovering addict. Hiding my feelings and not sharing them led to medicating myself. Don’t hide from your feelings. Get them out. Share them here. I’m here to listen. This whole community is here to listen. So keep talking.

I love you and I’m praying for you.

hi @Gman_94 - hang in there - you are in good company here. Please do not be so hard on yourself - you are not poison. It is my experience that depression is part of me, and medication helps but doesn’t take it all away. And drugs and alcohol may numb you for awhile, but they are not a good solution. I wish I had better words for you - I am dealing with some of the same issues you speak of. But I can tell you for me, today is better than yesterday. Don’t give up on yourself. If you are thinking of drug and alcohol use, would you feel comfortable seeking out a 12 step meeting or support group? You are not alone in this.

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